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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I gained 4 project managers on my team. I lost 2 engineers. I can't...I just can't.

"The management is putting pressure on me" it's not an excuse for you to put pressure on me. I'm fucking doing my job.You are the project manager, it's your job is to allocate resources and manage priorities, find/hire someone to fucking share the load, tell them to fuck off, arrange for paid overtime, you know: do your fucking job!

Some days I feel like the greatest programmer, other days I feel like I'm just tricking myself after seeing all the technologies I need to learn

Telesketch iPhone App
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A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
Ever notice how Jeff bezos has one big eye and one little eye? What the hells wrong with him

Priority of your defects it's going to be inverse proportional with how much of an asshole you are. So for example if you ambush me at the water cooler to ask me yet again about your defect and I haven't had a chance take a break in 6 hours , magically your priority goes down a few points. If in the same conversation you threaten me that other managers will also ask, and you are a fucking low level "manager" with no underlings, then "no soup for you" my friend, your defect will require opening at least 2 tickets to the producer to solve, let's see how much time they take. On the other hand, if you see the above incident and yell "For fuck sake, let the man have some water" you go to the front of the line.

All the developers at Amazon, Netflix, Twitter, etc that participated in making banners for net neutrality day are pussies. What did you accomplish? Nothing. You did nothing to DISRUPT people's everyday activities and no-one gives a shit. So all of us small internet companies are going to have data-plans on fucking lane-lines and throttled to the point we wont be able to compete or run are own servers out of the garage... Amazon was built out of the fucking garage, same with apple and countless other giants. No we're call getting fucked. BE DANGEROUS ! ! ! DAMAND NET NEUTRALITY ! SHUT DOWN your services and make it MATTER to people. PROTECT THE NET. Stop being cowards.

I wish I could rub my cush remote job in my former team's face.

I don't trust Indian recruiters. They have never gotten me a single interview. I am a former Apple and Amazon lead engineer. That alone should get a few curious interview requests.

Working in a startup I am exceedingly aware that I must be antagonistic, shielding and disloyal to varying degrees internally and externally in order to protect my health and sanity.

I've pretty much given up. Today I will make around 500-600 bucks for sitting in a cubicle and staring blankly at a monitor.

An asshole architect just doubled the length of my team's stand-up because he doesn't know how to communicate at the right time in the right setting. Thanks to this motherfucker, I need to take a xanax prettymuch every morning.

My laptop blue screens every time I pick it up off my desk : |

Ship is sinking! I'm like the rats that leave the ship before its gone! Fuck the captain, he just care about his ship, I care about my little rats, Im gone!... getting payed to look for jobs!

I like writing powershell scripts much more than I anticipated I would.

Somebody left a box of fund raiser chocolate bars in the break room and I took one and didn't put any money in the box.

I'm sick and tired of guy in my office whining about his pay. He's been at the same company doing the same job for 15 years. In this line of work you have to move around to get more pay. I've told him 10 times if he wants more money he'll have to leave.

I'm the CTO in a big startup and I just dumped their whole db with plain text passwords (i wrote the code) on the scene.

while everybody hate ads I don't know why we're still doing this.

Everything is one fire... can't wait to be on Holiday

PantsLang is insane! Static typing where the types are jeans, pants, cargos, jorts, sweats. The functions are .pleats(), .hemmed(), .tapered(), .slimFit(), .relaxed(), .waist(32). .length(32).

It sickens me how much my coworkers rely on asking other people questions before anything else. How do you even live without knowing how to figure stuff out yourself?

I regularly get bugs reported by internal staff that simply reference existing functionality (i.e. this button is blue). Because these are "issues" reported by users, the implication is that the noted functionality is not correct, but they refuse to clarify how it should work until I ask. Every single time. Sigh.

Fed up with the bullshit in the "tech" industry. These people aren't inventing the wheel. There's no progress. Take away the hype and you basically have a used car salesman. There's a world of hurt on the horizon.

Every single day, I want to die.