Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I'm a millennial, when I was forming my startup it was basically tell a friend who can code we're hiring, by the end I had up to 200 employees, through the last year I've fired 60% of them, complacent over entitled shits, what I'm left with is a fucking coding crack team, space fucking monkeys ready to be shot into space for the good of man kind, talented serious millennials are good for alot of things but not network security, for that I have the head, a 40 year old woman, I wanna fucking shave her head, she is magnificent, the kids were just fucking around, she's been coding longer than I've been alive, my fucking Gilfoyle. We are eating competition alive and screaming.

Millennials are ruining the industry.

I don't read emails sent by the management team

the moment you create infinte loop by accidently typing something like for(i=1, 1 < something, i++)... (look around) did anyone seen this?

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It's always sunny in Jenkins town, except when shit don't build right.

Too much beer + coding confessional = "go fuck yourself" + (TollLaugh.mp3)

Those who don't abide MicroServices, have yet to realize that it is merely encapsulation on steroids. Just like every other hot topic to roll through, everything under the sun, but true encapsulation will be called MicroServices by one hack or another. So I vote we call it, writing code that makes Fucking Sense. Any takers?

Is this pathetic "go fuck yourself" meme really all you got? I miss the days of "I hope you will be fired".

This project has no deadline, due to hold ups elsewhere in the organization, but I still have to have it 100% complete in a week before I go on vacation? The fuck?

If you want my help, don't just forward me a huge chain of emails and expect me to make sense of the mess. If you don't take your time to summarize the situation for me I won't take my time to help you.

Go fuck yourself :) [Not OP]

Dev team: these deadlines are unrealistic, you can't even properly test the product Management: ok, we here you, would it help if we could add 10 more people to the team? Fucking hell

Shaking blood bags for the Red Cross was infinitely more enjoyable and rewarding than this has been or ever will be. I should go back to doing that.

Dev lead here, rest of the team does not know how i do it, we handle pretty complex projects with a lot of moving parts and the stress would break anyone so they wonder how i stay so perky, well I'll confess, i buy a lot of food everyday after work, go grab some weed from my weed guy and some shrooms from my shroom girl, get home, lock myself in and just trip, by morning it feels like I've taken a months vacation

I fucked the shit out of the receptionist, now she thinks I'm her boyfriend. I don't want anything else to do with her, it's just hard to ignore her when I have to walk past her desk every day.

I don't like web development :(

Leaving with no notice right now would fuck this department. I wish I wasn't so greedy and would do that.

how many years of constant bullshit apps would it take before leaving or finding another line of work?

Architect here. I told the Team it had to be modular, reusable, Plattform independent. It's Industrial Controls, not all PC Stuff. So I dreamt about a beautiful Virgin System with PLC code just for IO and fieldbus, a Hardware abstraction layer in C++ or JAVA, an OPC-UA semantic as a network interface and HTML+CSS+JavaScript for the GUI only. But Before throwing all unto them, I asked what they would like to do. the answer made me sick: JAVASCRIPT does everything and we use a proprietary driver for communication. Should I quit now or send them home?

I can't learn how to spell

okay shitty fucking small cap bios. start doing something

The top sales manager at my work just asked me how a client would increase disk space on their server... what a fucking moron.

i watch nba 1st round playoff games every morning in the office. not including nba on tnt and nba recap videos. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY for the rest of the playofffs.

Thoughts of being trapped make me feel trapped, truth is, programming is the only viable future i have, this is just about the most freedom I've ever had and the sooner i realize that, tune out biased society and go all in, the sooner i free myself of the illusion of choice, let's code.