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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I actively resist all style guides and syntax conventions.

I HTML encode on the client side using $('<div/>').text(value).html();

Sometimes I close the ticket, knowing that it's not really resolved....

Sometimes I write code before tests.

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If I ever won the lottery, I would spend every last dime hiring an army of hitmen to kill everyone who's ever been involved in the development or propagation of Internet Explorer.

Every time I intended on acquiring a lock, I accidentally created a lock instead and acquired it. Performance was incredible. Thread safety issues were the bane of my existence.

Chuck Norris likes qml

I once substituted every password character for asterisks.

i knowingly ship insecure software

I reallocate a vector for each insert

If I get the opportunity I always rip out the .Net Razor view engine and replace it with an XSLT one.

I used a raw data pointer instead of using a template. Forgive me

I wrote ActionScript for the money.

I've been programming for 25+ years and still have no idea how to structure a program.

I don't even try to find possible bugs after compiling an output executable file.

I've written my own search db + indexer, because our sysadmin didn't have time to install Solr. it's still painfully maintained years later.

I add comments as an excuse for writing bad code. //I know this is bad, but........ (it's easier to write this comment than correct code)

All C++ classes I implement are templated in some way.

I used data as a variable and parameter multiple times on a class

Sometimes I see it's 3pm as I finally turn on my work computer.

I approved for code review a function named "HowCanSheSnap" which was used to snap objects to a grid.

My IDE was indenting with tabs instead of spaces.

My GUI-Code is always a mess ... I really hope no one has to look at that stuff ever again

I think everyone's code sucks but mine.

I almost never write comments, and when I do, they're always both cryptic and deceptive.