Coding Confessional

I feel really bad for Apple users.

I write most comments in limerick. It makes all my coworkers sick. My comments are fine, (and mostly they rhyme!) but my scrum master thinks I'm a dick.

I hate VB6.

I think web developers are sissies.

I <b>try</b> to find XSS vulnerabilities in every webform <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dQw4w9WgXcQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I and my husband are both male software developers.

I have no idea why I'm building what I'm being told to build. It seems completely useless to me.

I spend about 80% of my day surfing the internet.

I've worked from home for about 3 years, and I have only worn pants twice or three times.

While I believe they can be useful, I secretly hate everyone who talks about programming/web dev methodologies. Agile/Scrum/Xp/Kanban/Lean etc. It all sounds so yuppy.

I've been programming for around 10 years, and I still don't know jack about Design Patterns.

My boss always commits garbage and so my first task every morning is fixing his code. He doesn't know i do this as a conscious effort.

I'm a borderline Android and Linux fanboi, and don't own any Apple Devices. My day-job is iOS Developer.

I once dropped a live database because I got confused which browser tab was my local database and which was live. I spent the next 2hrs restoring it from a backup and didn't tell anyone.

My comments, though mostly useful, sometimes contain bad puns

I publicly disclosed security flaws after being told specifically not to fix them.

I hate IE

I'm procrastinating here in this coding confessional instead of coding.

I write code when I don't feel like doing my schoolwork.

I named a variable theySeeMeScrollingTheyHatin because I thought it would be funny, it's still in the code.

I never test my web apps on IE cause I don't really care

I like writing code in PHP

I was a victim of police brutality where they left me out in the woods, for me to walk for 4 hours in -10 degrees Celsius. This was 4 years ago and I have done everything in my power to ruin their lives online. Keyloggers, DDOS-attacks against their IPs, thousands of microtransactions from foreign countries, etc.