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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

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Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

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I've kinda started getting more sympathy for Torvalds as I get older. Sometimes when dealing with people who think they're smart but write overengineered enterprise crap, that semi-abusive style is the only thing that will ever get through. If you're friendly to them, they will take it as a hint to keep promoting their complete and utter shit over-namespaced, over-packaged, over-everything crap. It's not nice, and you feel a bit bad about it afterwards, but there doesn't seem to be another option.

I had enough of the obscure convoluted architecture in this place... Now I have a waiting to prepare contract from another place... I will be so happy to leave... BUT I will mess up things with the team delivery schedule, they are nice guys and have been nice to me... I just cannot take any more of this shoveling shit to get anything happening... Feeling like a traitor, they gave me love and breakfast, I gave them the code, this is like breaking up with a nice girlfriend that is awesome but doesn't know how to suck cock very well...

Who the fuck thought minification was a good idea? If you don't care about readability or debuggability, why the fuck do you send source code in the first place? Just use a proper vm and transfer bytecode you dumb motherfucking idiots.

Damnit this place drives me crazy. Gd foreigner jibber jabbering his gibberish into his cellphone all gd day. What happened to companies, why do they jam multiple people into one small area?

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I just join a new job and have to solve some bugs. Very big amount of code base. Loving the JS debugger keyword

Just took a power dump.

Just learn to use GIT correctly for god's sake!!!!! Next time i will set "Require pull request reviews before merging" on every f*cking repo you son of a "branch is for noobs" b*tch!

If programmers were paid by functionality divided by number of lines (but with a bonus for good comments), it would solve so much.

How is this stupid complexity rewarded? Why is this faggot so happy convoluting things? When did architecture become obscurity by design? I had enough of this shit. I will find another project to pay my bills. Good luck MoFos

Is there such a thing as bought stars on GitHub? Looking through a project now, and the most recent 5 starers look sketchy as hell from their profiles (one is named the same as the project, three have zero activity besides staring stuff, and one one guy has left over 5000 stars).

I’ve been feeling absolutely incompetent at work and depressed and wanted to vent here. The wanting to vent part went away after seeing the gay porn posted below.

No-one on my team except me understands how to handle times and timezones. In less than a minute I found a serious bug in some new time-handling code. I waited until it was on staging and blocking the release to tell anyone, because these mistakes need to be seen by more than just me. We do it wrong over and over and over again, and yet still no-one gets it. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD. Or, based on the evidence in front of me, I guess it is that hard?

I don't get how other coders' brains work. If something is simpler to read, uses half the lines, and does the same thing, why not do it? It's like second-week-of-programming type stuff. How the fuck did they get into a career in programming? Haven't they progressed to that stage in 10 years? Are they so fucking stupid that they think people will be impressed because the code does a bunch of redundant shit?

so this is a site for developers, right? made by a developer I assume... Ok, 1. on the mobile version, you see the new lines, on web no new lines 2. on the web you see those nasty gay GIFs, on mobile thank god no GIFs I could continue, but I'm lazy

one of my teammates rebased our epic branch last night. This is how my morning went. 8:30 - QA grabs me on my way in the build. "git pull" isn't working anymore. have to troubleshoot for them. 9:00 - product owner gets in. "git pull" doesn't work for him either. troubleshoot for him too. 9:30 - dev gets in. he sees slack and resets on his own. 10:00 - dev 2 gets in and git pull fails once again and he interrupts me asking what happened. my whole morning has been pissed away because the remote dev decided to rebase instead of merge to fix a conflict. and he'll never feel the pain of the countless interruptions.

OHHHHH WE'RE TOO GOOD FOR DOING THIS THE STANDARD WAY THAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT. WE NEED TO FUCK IT UP A BIT, OR OUR USERS WILL BE TOO CONFUSED. APPEALING TO THE WORST FRESH-OUT-OF-BOOTCAMP DEVS IS A GREAT WAY TO MAKE SURE THAT DECENT DEVS WILL WANT TO JOIN THE PROJECT. EVEN BETTER IF IT CONFUSES THE FUCK OUT OF THE BAD DEVS AS WELL. YEAH SEEMS WONDERFUL GUYS.

Been fighting it all day since 7 AM, noise and distraction all around, gd this guy just got another cup of coffee and now it'll be slurp, slurp, GULP!!! for the next half hour, think I'll surf the web for an hour and go home. Sweet surrender.

Even Linux has jumped onto the contributor covenant forced SJW bullshit now

I despise Vim I think it's such a garbage editor.

I offended my pal when I asked "have you done any functional programming?" I felt confused. Then I realized he was offended because he doesn't know what functional programming is and he thought I was asking if he'd done anything that was useful or practical. Then I felt bad for a second. Then I realized he's a paid professional coder who doesn't know what functional programming even is so fuck him anyway.

I'm helping a dude learn to program. The kinds of mistakes he does are things I see professionals who've done this for 15+ years do. Guess this is where it starts, just that some people never learn...

is that good NVertices as a variable name? (my prog performs DFS)