Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Just sick of dealing with bad deployments and support tickets. Hopefully, I'll get some time do some programming this week, instead of this bullshit.

I'm a 44-year-old virgin.

There are way to many people in the tech field who have no business being here. It would be fine if they just sat quietly and collected a check, but unfortunately a lot of them wiggle and scheme their way into management positions. That's not good for anybody.

I hate modern pop music. I think recording company executives finally realized that most people have a sketchy sense of tones and would probably fuck up twinkle twinkle little star, and started promoting fucking shit. Also, fuck off all you hipsters who were planning to respond with pop music always being shit. You're tone deaf too, and just go with whatever you think is (not) in at the moment. Genre is unimportant. What matters is having some skill (unlike hipster assholes).

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A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I just do this because I want to impress people. It's fucking dumb. Most people hate people who are smarter than them anyway, even if they pretend like they don't.

I jerk my cock to commits that mass-update the copyright year in source files.

Fuck I hate working for a new manager. I usually avoid it if at all possible, but the recruiter for this job was a really good liar.

Follow my shitty ass twitter account @Silly_Developer or tell me how awful it is on here.

Follow my shitty ass twitter account @Silly_Developer or tell me how awful it is on here.

I thought the latest gay gif was kinda hot.

Fuck this shit. I hate my life

Coworker just told me to comment out code in case we need it later on, instead of deleting it. That's the whole fucking point of version control. How do people like this get these kinds of jobs??

I force pushed a revert commit after idiot #2 approved idiot #1s shitty PR

After watching the gay porn gif, I've decided to try this with my dog. Only I will be the one holding onto the ledge.

I'm an expert on a particular technology, having worked on a major implementation of it. One interesting thing about being in that position is that you get to see cargo-culting in action. Lots of people, including some really smart people, now copy a completely meaningless statement around. Sometimes I see it getting brought up in discussions when I google, with team leads and other high-ups defending it using reasons that might sound insightful, but are actually complete bullshit. It's literally a no-op. The psychology of it is interesting to watch, with people doubling down on things they don't even understand. It probably explains a lot of failure of IT.

I admit, *nix family is a really impressive example of collaborative effort. But oh god these OSes are fucking nightmare, nothing works out of the box and you need to spend tons and tons of hours to gain next-to-useless distribution-architecture-version-revision-specific knowledge just to get something working here. Windows has so many drawbacks but at least basic stuff works without issues.

Yesterday at work this one girl wore some really skimpy pants. You could see her ass crack and outlines of her pussy. On Monday I am going to turn her into HR for sexual harassment.

Whenever I'm approached by a company using NodeJS, I assume everyone at the company is retarded.

I develop apps for iOS and android, now got a contract with react native... well I like it!, I dont like some things, like how much BS it takes to navigate, or the Redux madness == global variables... but I like how it makes things faster... well until some random error is just some stupid JS related shit... oh and lets not forget the madness of TypeScript and friends... Is amazing how Facebook now is the “standard” for development and how Micro$soft is providing the tools... crazy times

I'm always worried that I'll sound like a complete idiot manchild during interviews, because my knowledge of economics, contracts, and other stuff adults are supposed to know about is on a grade school level.

I'm a mediocre developer.

I'm so tired of passive-aggressive BS. I've had managers stand around me in a ring while doing work at a subcontractor, asking me how long the fix would take. I expected them to start pissing all over to mark the territory. Other times I've been told that I'm a problem for refusing to implement a butt ugly workaround when the root cause was easily fixed by sending a single email to a developer. Some people think they can compensate for their incompetence through intimidation tactics.

My company openly encourages an environment where no one talks to one another. Now we have people do work that fucks up other people's work, but we're not allowed to say anything.

It's steak and blowjob day today!!