Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I love JavaScript rants.

Today is my last day at this company and I'm leaving them without finishing tasks they think I've already finished (couple of bash scripts and some minor documentation work).

I think Mr robot can teach me how to hack

I have a novel idea that is also patented.

Telesketch iPhone App
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A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
Signed for a new job, waiting end of month to resign in order to follow a training.

I am sorry i get to another place

i love programming as a hobby, but debugging corporate code 8 hours a day is killing me. i'm lost

Today I'm coding while I'm high. I work at police station.

I often deploy to production without backups and without manteinance modes.

I hate "omg microsofot is evil use linux" type people who glorify "open source software" as the only solution to any problem. I think they are naive as fuck and I hope they will suffer for it.

Our software release must not exceed 300Kb to fit on the target board. To make the limit, I reduced one png file from 154 bytes to 123. I don't know whether I should celebrate or cry.

my team just moved from an open space into 4-desk rooms: I'm so happy.

I do client side "joins" on multiple MongoDB collections.

If a known bug didn't make the application crash in the production environment, them there is no need to fix it right away, nor bother the user about it.

Evere time there is a new jobs opening i get a little panic inside, that i am going to be replaced by a new guy

I'm biding my time until my stock options vest.

I created a beautiful app, but not able to take care of it, because im stuck in a Job with a FAT pay. (Money vs. Passion)

I almost never release or dealloc. It's gonna get released upon exit anyway.

I'm too scared to learn git after being mocked constantly by fellow CS Majors for not using it by now.

There's a method in our system that always returns false. No one knows why, and no one dares change this behaviour.

I'm currently working mostly with programmers that have about 7-10 more years of professional experience than me (I have about 3.5). The longer I'm having to continue to work with them, the more inept and unwilling to improve they appear to be. I keep asking myself: "Is this normal? Is the majority of programmers really Java-ridden cinder blocks?"

I wonder if people here think the louder the office gets the more code will come out of it. If we could all only scream when speaking that'd be great

It really bothers me when people merge in 20 commits for a single code change, you're not using the repo correctly.