Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Almost crashed on the way to the airport. Lady in a little POS car swerved into my lane... she had a sticker on the back of her car that said "Nasty Women Vote". Well, apparently they can't drive, I don't really care if they vote.

I once made a false programming confession

Don't really have a clue what I'm doing right now.

I put an Apple sticker on my Dell Laptop

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Ctvw8 When designers misuse the terms build/create. " I'm building this app".... But the so called "app" is only the design. P.S I'm a web designer.

Estes comentários estão realmente me assustando, by estagiario.

I'm really good about "setting expectations". I once completed a project in 2 days that I said would take a month, and then spent the remainder of the month playing City of Heroes.

sometimes, when a confession only gets condemned I absolve so the person won't feel bad.

Our application (internal company use only) uses a text file to specify it's configuration so I'm spending literally days trying to figure out how to read and parse it and do error handling. The reasoning? Because the users "don't want to use XML" Screw the users! What about the programmers!!! Tired of having good software practices ignored because "the user knows best".

I really like when women came to work as developers (same for other IT related jobs). Since I am a man, I don't need to get better, being mediocre and lazy (since women are not made for this IT crap) still guarantees to me a great salary and, sometimes, free sex.

I Released a beta Version to broaden the test Basis and got no feedback at all. Either I'm too good, which is not the case, or people are simply not using the damn thing and don't care, which makes it an unborn failure. Gosh, so frustrated.

I am sick of emails asking me what an error means before even punching the error code into a search engine.

I've written self-modifying code so abusive that it broke emulators to save a few bytes in the emulator.

When clients ask about progress and I have done absolutely nothing on the project, I tell them that I am working on it on a local copy, as an excuse to why they don't see any changes live.

We had a consultant come in to help with the backlog. He was being paid senior developer money (about twice what I make), and we had to explain to him what "this" meant as well as how to access TFS and install SQL Server on his machine. He quit after a week saying he was "uncomfortable" but wouldn't elaborate. Is it wrong that I'm happy he's gone, even though it means more work? I've determined "uncomfortable" means "unskilled" in this instance. I have also requested that all consultants get a senior developer interview before we allow them to touch code.

alright my brain has had enough of this for today

BLM supporter kills five cops. Movement doesn't get blamed. Antifa smashes up a dudes car, he freaks and runs people over. All whites and conservatives should take the blame. Muslim runs over Innocents, Islam isn't to blame. Want a war? Keep going.

I have asked my boss for more money since I do a senior job. After about one month I asked second time bicause since first time, I didn't get any answer. Since the second time also no reply. I have send 4 resumes and in 2 day got 2 Interviews already. I think I will find a new better job before he manages to answer if I am worth it.

If you use a JS framework, I silently judge you.

Why-02 I didn't scold the person who wrote this for his and his future coworker's sake.

I passed the column names of the database table through the query string to allow the user to re-order the results by different columns. The user can now break the SQL query, or could attempt an SQL injection attack by manipulating the query string! (if they can get around the delimiters and the encoding function) Of course the application is not public and used by one or two people , but who cares, I did something very evil and against standard coding security protocols! Of course, I used to do this stuff all the time fifteen years ago without realising it, and in public applications and without any safeguards. Back then, our applications would fall over at the slightest hint of an apostrophe, and we never cared!

Rockstar and Take Two are the only companies that allow their developers to push back their deadlines, BY A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR

I get 20 calls a day from indian recruiters that I can barely understand.

My code stopped working, and i did nothing...

How many of you fags are in $GEVO today?