Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

A few months back, I thought this certain thing i was too lazy to fix might cause issues in the future. I just spent 3 days fixing a bug caused by this issue. And i only just realized what it was caused by.

product owner is on vacation for 2 weeks - no new ultra-urgent features in pipeline. finally time to do some refactoring!

I can't be productive if StackOverflow is down

I have to code using Marketo

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I want to spend my whole free time after work coding my personal projects, but I can't because my hands hurt.

I use Star Wars character names when writing tests so I get stuff like han_solo.should be_frozen

My first website was my dream site. The code got too big, too fast (do to complete lack of experience). I realized I had royally screwed myself when Rails updates kept deprecating functions through 1/2 my site causing delays and patches. I've never been able to publish the site.

I smoke weed and drink while I code. I also space out and procrastinate 75% of the time leaving 25% remaining to 'bust-ass' after i have a perfect picture in my head of the code I need to produce.

i rejected a lot of works because they use windows ... :D

I could'nt find the problem on the registry deletion, so i removed the FK deleted the registry and added again.

I am getting serious pleasure in watching a more senior developer crash and burn right now. Source control mess ups, broken builds, rookie bugs and a bad attitude means he's earned it. This is all basic stuff your expect of someone with his "experience".

Hate it when people use an inline IF in Razor to decide whether to add an onclick attribute and ends up breaking the behavior in the process due to misplaced double quotes..

I'm a programmer. I love Bach.

I lie and talk bullshit when i tell my boss about bugs i cannot fix.

I don't use a dependency injection framework and I'm not ashamed. Go on, condemn me.

I have about 90 unfinished apps at one stage or another in my projects folder.

It makes Jesus cry that they even have tests but that their standard developer build instructions say to mvn install -DskipTests

I just want to come to work and do some actual coding, instead of just watching tutorials and videos.

I'm the only IT guy where I work, so when the more insistent coworkers ask for (read: demand) stupid changes to my code, I do it even knowing that 3 months down the line they'll ask for me to change it back. And then I leave bitchy comments next to the changes.

I am changing all of the string literals status code evaluations in our code from something like status = "A" to something like status = Status.A. It feels dirty and I may use all of the alphabet but I need the compilers help to trace it like they use radioactive isotopes to trace cancer so I can go in and remove the tumors.

i only program and sleep. never even had sex.

I still cry at night about losing my best friend due to hacking her accounts five years after I done that...

I write ridiculously deep nested ternaries, just so other have a hard time figuring out what's exactly going on...

I am 25 years old and I primarily develop in VBA for Access. I feel like I am wasting my education, but I am comfortable with where I am at.

I am really close to quitting today. I am at my limits with the open office set up. I'm embarrassed to do poor quality work, but I am running out of the extra energy reserves it takes to power through all of the distractions. I don't really have a choice any more but to quit.