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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I used VSS (Visual Source Safe) in the past.

On my old job, I cheated with my paid travel time, to comopensate for my low salary.

That's it! Social Contact. I've been wondering why I felt so drained and burnt out lately. It's the voip meetings. I knew I liked async text communications better for a wide variety of reasons but this spike in face-to-face meetings is just making me love text communication even more. How do you get people with money to agree to IM and email only meetings?

I reddit SO much at work...

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i left an catch { } block empty just to get the thing to shut up no comments either. i feel so dirty

I push to GitHub drunk. I don't mean "couple cans of Guinness" tipsy, I mean "entire fifth of vodka" DRUNK.

I spent a week or so implementing a feature that pulled in an external library to handle some of the native features I needed. Turns out we're still on Java 6 and for a good reason while the library I used was written for Java 7.

I don't copy-paste code found on the internet. I type it all into my projects so it feels more like something I came up with.

The lady in the cube behind me ends every call with "I love you. Bye." She just ended a call with one of our vendors lol.

My job fucking sucks I thought I would be building cool projects instead I fucking fix bugs all day of some other boring ass shit.

Task Manager is my hero , he's the only who one can saves my ass every fuckin' time ! :)

Every time I comment one line of code in COBOL, I feel my IQ dropping by 1 unit.

My table data gateway classes are static and have no mocks. I can't see the point of mocking them.

I use StackExchange constantly, but I just read the already existing conversations. I'm afraid to ask questions because I'm convinced they'll be the dumbest questions ever.

I had a bunch of internal Boolean variables. The creativity fairy was taking a nap, so I named them bit0, bit1, bit2, bit3... My senior colleague passed by and just said "At least you started with 0, dumbass"

I am changing all of the string literals status code evaluations in our code from something like status = "A" to something like status = Status.A. It feels dirty and I may use all of the alphabet but I need the compilers help to trace it like they use radioactive isotopes to trace cancer so I can go in and remove the tumors.

Why do I need to teach git and versioning basics to devs that just came out of school? Damn..

Ágil de cú é rola.

i always do this.. try { //some code here } catch(Exception ex) { //nothing here }

This is The Worst Job in The World.

I work at a tech mega corp and our development environment is an internally built web app/cms/ace editor ide that doesn't live under version control. Checking our code into the companies version control system is our "launch process". I'm actually impressed by how ridiculously stupid the dev workflow is here... but what do I know? I'm just a front end developer.

I'm dating a coder, and I pickup some of the lingo like "shaders suck!" and I don't know how to tell everyone I don't actually code. I'm living a lie!

The other devs I work with constantly complain about git having constant merge conflicts, but they refuse to develop in branches, and don't know what a rebase is.

my company lost thousands of dollars because of inversion of trust issue caused by javascript callbacks.

I hide Monty Python quotes in my comments when I'm bored