Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

You guys don't even know how to post porn

Potableconventionalflatcoatretriever-max-1mb Sometimes when I want to ssh, I ssj instead.

Second week of work, first job as junior programmer and i feel so useless. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of complexity in the projects this company's handle. My colleagues are very nice peoples, I'm just very concerned to disappoint them and my boss...

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
New job, same problem. Today problem with timestamp comparison in different time zones... can't wait for the char encoding issues ;)

Python seems to be really easy when i first tried it .......i mostly faced problem with indentation

On my old job, I cheated with my paid travel time, to comopensate for my low salary.

I'm transgendered but too afraid to transition in the developer community out of fear

I am the best programmer in the universe. Before you Condemn me, let me fill in some context. I belong to the group of individuals who genuinely want to get the project they are currently working on done. I love to learn, and ever seek the best way to do the best thing. In this game, there ain't no reconciling for speed. Its about architecture, and writing safe code can properly mutate. So I am one of these, and you should be too. We are the best programmers in the world.

Sometimes I see it's 3pm as I finally turn on my work computer.

i watch nba 1st round playoff games every morning in the office. not including nba on tnt and nba recap videos. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY for the rest of the playofffs.

Someone at work asked me if I am a lesbian... Finally those misogynists appreciate my coding skills... :P

I don't want to work with a designer who can't understand how the browsers works, and who thinks that "the developer will do it.."

Thanks to my excellent coding skills and dedication, my account balance is bigger than it has ever been but my lonliness is just as much. So much money and no one to enjoy it with. Where are the gold diggers ?

I maintain an application that needed LDAP integration for more than just login and was encountering a lot of user complaints and access issue tickets, so I spent a week reading documentation and standing up a local LDAP server to test against... And fixed the issues! I got reported to my manager for "wasting time".

My girlfriend does not know am a programmer, she goes on and on about nerds behind their desks not having lives and how she would never date that type of guy, my job title is engineer, i don't think she realizes what engineers do. I think she looks out for neck beards, poor body shape and glasses to identify nerds. I'm dumping her dumb ass.

Sadly, all this overhead is being created because idiot companies now get complete fuckheads to manage their software teams.

I think most technical recruiters are like used car salesmen, except the don't know anything about the product they are selling.

I <div></span> for lulz

Why every PM think that 9 woman can give birth to a child in 1 month?

I once spent 8 hours looking for a bug. It turned out I had a variable name that was upper case instead of lowercase.

I work in video games. Our job is to make our game as addictive as possible so that we can make the most money out of micro-transactions. (Think mobile phone games) A lot of our game design is by marketing telling us what people will most likely buy in the game by watching data. Sure, it starts free-to-play, but to keep you playing and paying we mine data to make it more "sticky." After a while I felt like I was working for a drug dealer and quit recommending our games to people I knew. Sure, people have fun playing the games we make, but I don't want to hear later about how much money you or your kids wasted on it.

Productivity triggered when the client is on vacations

comments === poor code no comments == good clean code

Learning a programming languages that go obsolete within 3 years is a lot like being an ambassador for countries with dictators.