Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.Confess
I usually ignore code reviews for weeks, although I have nothing to do.
All of my unit test strings come from the lyrics to Bob Marley's "Babylon System". Tell the children the truth!
Sometimes I wish I didn't know how to code, so that I can become an IT consultant who makes 10x what I make...
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I don't understand Quicksort. If I had to sort something without resorting to external libraries, I'd build a bloody binary tree and shove everything in it.
I sometimes use git stashes instead of branches and keep track of what's on which stash on a post-it note. I then look on in horror of what I've done, zip it, fix it, and promise never to do it again. And then I do it again next week.
While I'm getting better about this, I still handroll a lot of my data structures and (in the case of games) engine code, even when a good library exists.
Next week I'm starting a new job as a lead software engineer, but I've never had any software engineering job before.
My commit messages are just links to memes that describe (poorly) what I did. http://i.qkme.me/3t32nl.jpg
My coworker posted server credentials in code to github and I didn't say anything because I didn't like him. He got fired.
I want to get into software development; but I am too lazy to actually learn anything on my own.
I make my code as complicated and unreadable to my co-workers as possible... on purpose...
Sometimes I write SQL directly in the database layer of my codebase rather than creating stored procedures.
So far I've made 50 memes this week when I could have been writing code. It's Thursday.
I write terrible half-ass custom apps at the whims of executives, tell them it's going to be "ugly" if they want it by [deadline] and knowingly leave out sensible user responses and error messages.
I filtered out files that weren't the right type to process by trying them all and skipping any that threw an exception.
I can draw complex models with 100's of thousands of points to a screen........but i still can draw a simple quad to a screen
I hate IDE's, Emacs & Vim as well. I wrote my own text editor a dozen years ago and lost the source code. I hide it from everyone else and secretly believe it's the best editor ever. Worst of all, instead of planning to switch to something mainstream I am quietly plotting to write another one.
I literally just found out how to use the debug feature in Eclipse. This is after 4 years into college and almost a year into my first programming job.
It takes people so long to get everything set up at my new job that I'm probably going to spend about a week faffing about on the internet before I can be of any use to anyone.