Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.Confess
I spent hours making design tweaks only to have the feature cut after it was deemed useless.
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I questions on Stackoverflow.com whenver I cannot solve a problem which I consider very complex.
Ten years ago I wrote my first mySQL web app for a freelance client. None of the tables had primary keys; instead I would just use the created_at timestamp or an email address as a unique identifier. The rest of the app was written in copypasta-procedural-php. There were A LOT of bugs. The scary part is that I sent it around as a code sample when I was applying for jobs... and I got multiple offers. The scarier part is that it still exists... and sometimes... I get asked to make updates to it.
I knowingly waste hours and sometimes even days on premature optimization.
I want to be a developer, but don't have the confidence to get a "real" developer job even though I work with large complex datasets.
I used to be afraid of talking about how good I was at coding at meetups until I realized how little everybody else knows, and how much they talk up their lack of skill. Now I shit on everybody without discretion. That's a lie. I like nice people.
I think people who willingly code in PHP should not be writing software.
I used a naïve n^2 search algorithm when nlog(n) performance could've been achieved just by doing a sort. This was in C.
I think 99% of engineers are utterly unqualified to interview potential candidates.
I intentionally don't fix bugs to do with removing things. If you didn't want it then you shouldn't have added it in the first place.
To lazy to implement a well-written sorting algorithm I once populated a list control in Visual Basic 6, set to hidden visibility and sorted, and then read the items from the top to order them.
Sometimes I like to imagine a world where only I am allowed to write software
I publicly disclosed security flaws after being told specifically not to fix them.
I completely rewrote a functioning application because it was originally written in vb .net.
I am not a developer, I currently have completed a semester of Java programming in high school but I love coming here to learn what not to do.
I almost never write comments, and when I do, they're always both cryptic and deceptive.