Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I once wrote a triple nested loop with breaks and labels. At least it was O(n).

I work for Microsoft.

Despite believing in the productivity gains possible with Vim, I'm too lazy to learn how to use it and stick with my GUI text editor

If I find it hard to name a method, I call it "foo".

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I used gvim and arrow keys...

I sometimes skip some design requirements to save time

I always say something is possible without actually knowing if it is.

i changed confirmation pop up message to "fuck you" before the final demo and i forget about it till one of my colleges presented the demo in front if the executives and the message appeared on the 100 inch screen

I always AFK whenever my team is in the middle of group chat quarrel especially regarding launch dates.

I sometimes over-engineer things for the sake of the perceived internal beauty of the code and data-paths, and no-one else understands it.

I keep using var = var++;

We frequently take breaks to look at hot women on facebook. Sometimes, we find transexual men/women...and we check if other people at the office notice if the hot woman on the screen is actually a man...or as we like to call it...Ragelll

I hate this 80 columns rule My greatest pleasure was to write a table for a state machine in C up to about ~150-200 colums, overflowing any terminal with a medium-sized font.

I named non nested incrementing counters i, ii, iii, iiii, iiiii, iiiiii and finally iiiiiii.

I've learned that if you click on 'absolve' or 'condemn' more than once in quick burst, it counts all your clicks before the ajax request returns so you can vote the shit out of entries.

I have Putin's portrait behind me. He helps me code.

I don't care if my software doesn't run on Windows.

I restart inetd by rebooting the machine because I can't find what is the service executable's actual name.

I make ASCII art in comments instead of doing actual work.

I sometimes need to touch Apple devices. I am ashamed, for I am not an iSheep.

I always trying to reinvent the wheel while coding.

I always use the string 'titsandass' when testing my code.

I built an entire application without business requirements other than "Make it work like the old system so we can turn off that mainframe." My development was driven by demos and heresay. I try not to talk to the main business user when doing support.

I didn't want to fix bugs on a small software coded in VB since I didn't know VB and it all looked hairy, so I rewrote it in Java during the week-end. My boss was eventually happy, my girlfriend was not.