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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
After working with software for a few years i no longer enjoy coding in my spare time.

I'm always extremely bored on daily meetings.

I have transported breakpoints into production

I sometimes use curse words to name variables, because that's just how childish I am.

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I was recently criticised slightly so i broke 2 years worth of project code into a nest of eval()'s and then went on holiday

It feels nice when non-programming friends think its cool I'm learning Ruby ; I still have no idea how to write a program after over a year....

I am using proprietary app on my ubuntu :-(

I would rather use BASIC than actually have to make stuff in Ada and I honestly think people who like Ada seem to be, in general, boring.

I work with an active codebase that isn't compiled, so all files are live. I don't do any sort of branching, and will often work on files without making backups.

I write the same source code for some games

I masturbate while coding

I <div></span> for lulz

My code has always been littered with profanity.

I use the term "intval ($ id) <= 0" to check the validity of the ID

i use VAR X alllll the time

At one time or another, I have committed almost every sin on this list. I'm sorry.

i don't know what a unit test is exactly

Deploy first, test later.

I work for a company that gives 0 shits about planning, so I give 0 shits about how good my code is.

I don't think short people can code.

I once let 2 programs communicate through a hardcoded file location

I know it all, but I ask questions only to be social.

Added a UserTooStupidException

I deliberately put a 2 second delay in a JSP page before loading the data that was fetch via AJAX, because the client complains about seeing the preloader gif image they requested only a fraction of a second

I sometimes write code I don't fully understand and nobody else either and are feared to ask me about it.