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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
i knowingly ship insecure software

Goddamn it I'm tired of resolving everything through the dependency injection container. I'm just going to call new on this object and be done with it.

My IDE was indenting with tabs instead of spaces.

I've knowingly pushed code with inconsistent whitespace.

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I think everyone's code sucks but mine.

I almost always name temporary variables 'tmp'.

Sometimes I write code before tests.

I name my variables things like var1 and var2 or some_name

I have 3 work-related presentations in my network drive. And 148 animated gifs of cats and people falling over.

I regularly use "magic numbers" in my algorithms.

Was lazy to implement a set of new features for a client. Did it later that week instead.

I command tab away from reddit to my terminal anytime I hear someone walking nearby.

I've kept all of the source code I wrote from all of the companies I've ever worked at.

Everyone in my office (except myself) is WAY too cool to work on a pc, so when they ask if it works in Internet Explorer, the answer is always 'yes.'

I work in "cyber security" but I still use 'password' as the password for most of my personal accounts.

Half the coding I do is just C and P. Or X and V, if you want to get technical.

My websites are based on templates, but I say I designed them.

When my issues in issue trackers are marked as low priority I die a little inside.

I feel really bad for Apple users.

If I can write 'Hello World,' I put it on my resume.

I went into IT for the money, now I find myself writing code on the weekends for fun.

Nobody here reads the git logs. So I've started adding things about my coworkers to my commits: "...after fixing a bug in the user class. I wish Mark would stop bringing in Indian food for lunch. It reeks in here."