Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

After you've learned a decent number of languages, picking up three more and two frameworks in a month isn't as impressive as it seems - but my co-workers/supervisors don't need to know that.

Now I spend all day long watching this website instead of work.

When I was young I dreamt to be a video game developer. Now that I am one, I try to discourage my nephew to do this job.

I don't test code, that's what the client is for

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When non-technical people ask what computer science is, I 'od' a binary and act like I'm editing it.

I regularly push code into production to fix issues unknown to the rest of the team or client.

I get too worked up when fellow interns submit bad code and dismiss them as stupid, even though he or she is probably an intelligent person.

I think web programming isn't really programming

I put C++ on my resume even though I've never written more than a first year assignment with the language.

I routinely do a clean and rebuild, whether I need to or not. It's just nice to have a break.

i feel like coders who are over the age of 45 suck so badly that if i owned a company i would specifically avoid them, even though i know it's technically illegal.

I tell people I know java, but all I've ever written in it is a pong clone.

I don't do anything on fridays

i answer other peoples coding problems on stackoverflow when i dont feel like doing my work, but still want to look busy

I always have a variable named after myself in every program.

I work in a team developing a new front end for banking systems... About 80% of our code is bad and unused but still gets shipped to our clients...

I sometimes put commented out ASCII art naked women in the header comment of files

I've changed a third-party lib using "dirty techniques"..

I once had to overload a method but I wasn't allowed to change the interface. Luckily, there was a byte[] parameter, so I included my string variable into the byte array.

I slack off until the last minute and do 3 weeks of coding in one day.

If it throws an error, I fix it. If it shows a warning, I pretend I didn't see it.

I don't like having an tech-ignorant boss, I wish they would be programmers to.

I accidentally submitted a particularly frustrating HTML page with class="fuck", to a global companies website. It got through review and went live before I realised. I quickly submitted an update and it was replaced before anyone realised, but it was live on their site for over a week.

I remote into my work computer from a laptop so I can work in rooms where people can't see me browsing Reddit