Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I don't use frameworks and just write spaghetti callback based javascript and tell everyone I'll just go back and refactor it later. I never go back and refactor it.

I almost never write comments, and when I do, they're always both cryptic and deceptive.

I told them I would check in the test ASAP, but I never did. They never noticed.

I am grossly overpaid.

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I couldn't understand/work through the framework bugs, so I convinced the management to let me rip it out and write myself.

I never think about boundaries when writing loops. I just let it run infinitely and break when a condition is satisfied.

Years ago, while I was still a beginner, I littered codebases with variable names like boo, foo and zoo. The fact that I did that still haunts me to this day.

I have used monkeypatching in Python.

I build web applications and I don't use node.js, coffeescript, dart, typescript, angular, ember, <framework/library of the week on github>

I've been programming for 25+ years and still have no idea how to structure a program.

I knowingly waste my time creating ridiculously secure log in systems -- I'm talking about multiple level, 1000 character hashes & salts -- just so I have more work hours...

If I ever won the lottery, I would spend every last dime hiring an army of hitmen to kill everyone who's ever been involved in the development or propagation of Internet Explorer.

I can't stand the code the next guy wrote. So I deleted the whole thing and re-wrote it.

I copy and paste.....

Sometimes I close the ticket, knowing that it's not really resolved....

I come from Java and Python. I think frontend web development is scary and hairy. I don't know how people manage to create gnarly yet hacky things out of it. I'm tempted to blog in plaintext so I don't get distracted by all these web conventions.

I don't test..........

I always google the things I need instead of referring to the documentation.

i knowingly ship insecure software

Goddamn it I'm tired of resolving everything through the dependency injection container. I'm just going to call new on this object and be done with it.

My IDE was indenting with tabs instead of spaces.

I've knowingly pushed code with inconsistent whitespace.

I think everyone's code sucks but mine.

I almost always name temporary variables 'tmp'.

Sometimes I write code before tests.