Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.Confess
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I've used goto and am not ashamed, although it was used in a clear manner and it was the most efficient technique for that task.
I like sneaking things into the app store. I have a super nintendo emulator available in a non jailbroken app.
During code review, I want to comment on my coworker's inconsistent/nonexistant whitespace more than anything, but I bite my tongue to keep the Github comments to functional stuff.
In my 40 hour / week job, I worked for about 6 hours / week. I still got all the work done that was asked of me, and got a reputation as a reliable and skilled worker. What I really did was learning about technologies not used by the company to prepare for my next job, as well as fuck around on Reddit.
I use magic numbers -> Every where! (There is a special place in hell for me)
I wrote a code with error handling where for each error type there was a specific error message blaming evil bunnies who did something wrong with my code. This code still lives on production server. Beware of evil bunnies... They're messing with your code!
In my current project I have a static class named Global that I store other classes so they can be accessed anywhere so that all my global classes are in one place. It is so awful but I am too lazy to fix it.
Whenever I visit a website I resize the window. If the page is not responsive I assume the developer is average.
I took down a major social website by fiddling with it live in a REPL causing an infinite loop in the database.
I write Java enterprise software, but always check for errors C-style.
I wrote a game in C++ with everything either in global functions above the main or defined within the main itself.
I don't write tests and I actively resist process. Our app would be simple if not for the complexity fetishists I have to work with. If they'd just shut up and read my code they'd get a lot better at coding and wouldn't think we need so many tests.