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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
My "search returned in X seconds" is actually X % 1.

I reallocate a vector for each insert

Sometimes i delete code without knowing what it actually does.

I intermix between tabs and spaces in my IDE.

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
#define TRUE false //trolololololol

I've used goto and am not ashamed, although it was used in a clear manner and it was the most efficient technique for that task.

I like sneaking things into the app store. I have a super nintendo emulator available in a non jailbroken app.

During code review, I want to comment on my coworker's inconsistent/nonexistant whitespace more than anything, but I bite my tongue to keep the Github comments to functional stuff.

In my 40 hour / week job, I worked for about 6 hours / week. I still got all the work done that was asked of me, and got a reputation as a reliable and skilled worker. What I really did was learning about technologies not used by the company to prepare for my next job, as well as fuck around on Reddit.

I use magic numbers -> Every where! (There is a special place in hell for me)

I knowingly deploy buggy code in order to meet deadlines.

I wrote a code with error handling where for each error type there was a specific error message blaming evil bunnies who did something wrong with my code. This code still lives on production server. Beware of evil bunnies... They're messing with your code!

I always steal the keyboard when pair programming

In my current project I have a static class named Global that I store other classes so they can be accessed anywhere so that all my global classes are in one place. It is so awful but I am too lazy to fix it.

I prefer functional programming over imperative

Whenever I visit a website I resize the window. If the page is not responsive I assume the developer is average.

I use hungarian notation.

I took down a major social website by fiddling with it live in a REPL causing an infinite loop in the database.

I'm at work right now

I write Java enterprise software, but always check for errors C-style.

I debug my C++ applications with OllyDBG...

I wrote a game in C++ with everything either in global functions above the main or defined within the main itself.

I don't write tests and I actively resist process. Our app would be simple if not for the complexity fetishists I have to work with. If they'd just shut up and read my code they'd get a lot better at coding and wouldn't think we need so many tests.