Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I leave extremely discreet and weird easter eggs in my code (including those that get in commercial and production software). I'm certain I'd get fired if anyone sees them but they're so well-hidden that not even a single person was able to spot it for years.

I prefer to use the object type as my variables names. JsonResult jsonResult = new JsonResult();

I've developed JSP with Stripes

I have just submitted a software patent.

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When my project manager gives me incorrect specifications, I pretend to listen intently and then ignore his instructions and do things the right way. If he confronts me about it being different I explain that his way didn't work when I tried it.

I have been in countless FLOSS projects, some were very successful and some were not. They weren't related either: One was a commandline tool, one was a fuse module, one was a standalone distro in an experimental C library. However, the only thing they had in common was that they were all related to My Little Pony.

I told a client to follow the proper process for registering an issue. I then set the status to 'in progress' and assigned it to a developer that was on a sabbatical.

Whenever I'm doing a personal project that I won't need to show anyone else, or just a piece of disposable code; I name my functions, variables and everything like x0, x1, x2, x3... regardless of their uses. For example: x0 function can return the value x1 of the type x2 to the function x3.

I always say "yes, I can do it", when I should say "I don't know, I have to learn how to do that"

I forgot to WIN+L when I was on this site all friday afternoon. For the first time my screen wasn't upside down. The following week I couldn't look any of my team members in the eye.

I spend about 80% of my time reading books and/or blogs about how to do my projects. The other 20% is spent writing code or taking breaks to think about what I just read.

I've been working in software for about 8 years and truly believe the only trait that separates a good developer from a bad one is their personality.

I like to name C pointers 'dom' so I always remember to free(dom).

I really want to go back in time to early 90s and code some cool Cannon Fodder like game instead of this all "super cool" stuff we're doing now

When doing personal projects, I actively try to reach the Ballmer Peak.

If a constant is ever the number 8, I always name it "D" so that I can check for equality using if (8===D) { }

I am the web developer who "strongly" condemned the sissies who confessed(id=1388) to think web developers are sissies. #learn javascript sissies!!

If I estimated 2 days for a feature and I manage to do do it in 1 day or less, I bath in the success and don't do anything until the whole 2 days are over

I posted the same confession three times before I saw the thank you message.

I find technical questions in a job interview as useless as a Java/C#/NET/JS/* certifications. History of code contributions + portfolio tells us way more.

when i discover a bug in prebuilt, versioned rpm package i repackage the fix in the same versioned rpm package - nothing happened see?

I've designed several Android apps based on the samples included in the SDK.

I enjoy demos with my project manager and a pleased client that result in him having to update his 8pt. font, A1 size planning because I miss estimated the workload by a factor of 20.

I love VIM yet I only know a few shortcuts and use arrow key. I also need to google to remember how to replace text with it some times.

if (something == true) { }else{ } If you write your if-else's like this, I fucking hate you and want to kill you.