Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.Confess
Sometimes I don't bother to delete commented code. Especially if I know I don't have to work on it anymore.
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
My code is always perfect, well documented, I handle resources appropriately, and I'm tired or my coworkers sucking and making programmers look bad.
I often bill time spent not working, but surfing Reddit, HN, or sites like this. Most of my billed time is of this kind.
I once wrote an encryption system in PHP using a crude cesar-cypher. Its still in production use.
I've used goto and am not ashamed, although it was used in a clear manner and it was the most efficient technique for that task.
I like sneaking things into the app store. I have a super nintendo emulator available in a non jailbroken app.
During code review, I want to comment on my coworker's inconsistent/nonexistant whitespace more than anything, but I bite my tongue to keep the Github comments to functional stuff.
In my 40 hour / week job, I worked for about 6 hours / week. I still got all the work done that was asked of me, and got a reputation as a reliable and skilled worker. What I really did was learning about technologies not used by the company to prepare for my next job, as well as fuck around on Reddit.
I use magic numbers -> Every where! (There is a special place in hell for me)
I wrote a code with error handling where for each error type there was a specific error message blaming evil bunnies who did something wrong with my code. This code still lives on production server. Beware of evil bunnies... They're messing with your code!
In my current project I have a static class named Global that I store other classes so they can be accessed anywhere so that all my global classes are in one place. It is so awful but I am too lazy to fix it.