Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.Confess
I tell my boss complex stories about coding to have more time finishing a task
I hate mySQL but I systematically choose it over SQL Server in replication intensive scenarios just to get back at one DBA who won't participate into our scrum process.
One of my former team members was a terrible person and an even worse developer. I frequently had to rewrite his awful code. When he interviewed at another company and they called me for a reference, I told them how he was an amazing developer and co-worker just to make sure he would leave. It was an awful thing to do, but I did it for my team and my company as well as me.
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I hate sharing my code between team members, because I know they will ruin it.
When a client is shitty, we bill them for extra hours of testing that never actually happens.
I once imported a client's data into another client's live site by mistake. They noticed, but we bluffed our way out of it.
Two years in college as a Computer science major in Java, and I clearly have no idea what the hell I am doing. Yet its too late for me to change majors..
Whenever I get an exception from Hibernate that it can’t lazy initialize an association, I change the xml mapping to lazy=”false”
I obsessively check-in code before nearly every single test resulting in 10x as many check-ins as anyone else I work with. I fully comment each one, sometimes with paragraphs of text.
I should be working on a webapp, but I've spent the last week working on a learning IRC bot
I've written a single page web app using only jQuery and im in the middle of a second
Every time I hear someone is about to pass through my office door I switch my browser tab from YouTube to the online Kanban board page.
I sometimes think judgmental thoughts about people who don't put braces around a single-statement if block.
2 IT people I work with, in the space for 10+ years each, call IIS (Internet Information Services) "two-ess" because they think the II are roman numerals and not an acronym.
My private variables and methods are named after people I want to sleep with.