TOP
X

Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I use, abuse, fight over, and write blogs on Monads, yet I don't understand them.

I genuinely enjoy recursion.

You can only be a man if you have made a 10k lines program in matlab

Anytime someone says 'Thats an excellent use of HTML5' I immediately judge and decide they know nothing about what they're talking about.

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
There is no Test. Only Prod.

I loathe the extra level of complexity jQuery brings that I'd rather write kludge-free-pure-javascript Chrome/Firefox/Opera12/IE10 only code than support other browsers (IE<10 only used by 5% of customers for this one site, thank God!). It would however take only 1 jQuery + flash plugin (and other reasonable jQuery code) to support the feature required..

i use poo related variable names a lot of the time

Instead of using a .htaccess rule, I used a JavaScript redirect to do the same thing. Fuck accessibility.

I frequently upgrade to the latest and greatest frameworks/IDE's even if they are still in alpha.

I literally surf reddit for 8 hours a day, while complaining that I am so 'busy' I need someone to help me with support issues. They hired additional staff to alleviate my 'workload'.

I think leaving //HACK comment is an acceptable way to push bad code forward.

I stubbornly stick to Java because of the forced strict coding standards and want to stab my colleagues when they sprinkle functional coding standards in our Java applications

The project leader asked for documentation I just printed out the source code, here you have it!

25 years of development experience and I couldn't write a regex at gunpoint.

One of my comment was “Shit Tyrone, Get It Together” and its still there.

I still don't know how to use the debugger correctly. I mostly debug with console output.

Steve Balmer fathered my child.

I let a co-worker push his broken code to production hoping that he would get fired in the aftermath. He did.

I am agile. That's why I never document anything.

Most of the time (80%) I turn in school code without compiling and/or testing.

I think frameworks should never have breaking changes after version 1.0. This is why I hate Rails and DHH's horrible attitude.

I refactor until its an unintelligible generic mess.

I started to think that Excel is greatest software ever build.

I always look in version control for the idiot that decided he needed to call .ToString() on a string object.

I feel like I'm the only one in my office who actually cares if the code is efficient.