Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I once restarted a top telecom company's production messaging gateway thinking I was doing this on development platform since I was logged into both. Luckily the restart lasted only 5mins. However, revenue loss was so high during those mins.

I sometimes let switch cases fall through.

I start programming watching live streams. Then I just end up watching the live stream.

I'm under-paid, under-appreciated, but I don't want to look for a new job because there are still problems here I want to solve.

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When a customer decided to leave us, and requested the source, I obfuscated every single file. When the new company called us I told them that we code like that.

I was looking over some old C++ code of mine and I found a member variable called "size_matters".

My boss insists on putting commas in object/array literals at the start of each line, instead of the end. I've built a regex replace to change it to commas last, and use it on every file he edits.

I still don't know how to code, after having my masters in computer sciences, though I am working as a project manager and telling the coders how to code :D

I prefer PHP most of the time. I'm probably not enough of a programmer to get the job done with anything else.

I think coders who need comments for normal(=not "hacks") code are not real coders and need to get their shit together and learn the language.

I use pictures from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic when client takes too long to send actual images for site.

When i was applying for a job first time, employer arranged an interview which will be held 6 days later. On the 4'th day i started to learn programming. In this 2 days i read over 3000 pages of books and coded over 2000 lines of code. I feel like a pro. Still did't get the job.

I'm a Java developer with B.S. in CS and 6 years of work experience. Still I can't code FizzBuzz without help of my colleagues.

I gave up using Node.js for our internal application and wrote everything in PHP 4. Fuck realtime.

I work with two other developers who write shitty insecure code, but I can't tell them to completely change things because I'm junior.

I have been programming for about 8 years and still can't touch-type without making mistakes every line

I prefer to use an active record class as opposed to straight sql even when I have to loop through a hundred or so results

I push after every commit regardless of the revision control software.

I genuinely believe the software industry is in decline, if not a tailspin. The further we go with abstracting reality, taking shortcuts and being "agile", the worse the overall quality of the software ecosystem as a whole gets. Almost all software is terrible.

I outsource my own job so I can sit in the office reading codingconfessional and look at cats.

I think the vast majority of programmers are (sadly) code jockeys and not software engineers, thereby condemning true software engineers.

I probably can't use half of the frameworks mentioned on my resume.

Sometimes I ask questions on stackoverflow that I know the answer to just because it seems like a good question for gaining upvotes and boosting my reputation score.

I only learn new technologies in response to job ads or knock backs at interviews.