Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.Confess
Worked in an ISP. My boss was such an asshole, I created a backdoor to our system so we can reload prepaid cards without any trace.
I will never truly love another language the way I loved QBasic as a kid.
When I quit my previous job I made copies of most of the code I wrote that legally I had no right to.
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I make stupid comments with what i was thinking when i wrote that, like "How pikachu fits in a pokeball?"
I badgered my manager to send me to a conference and when the money didn't come through, got him to grant some "self-education" time so I could be paid to read blogs.
I once accidentally shut down wrong server in the middle of the work day because I had multiple remote root shells open at the same time and typed to the wrong window.
I forget everything I was planning to do when beginning a coding project that starts with a main() function.
When it gets late at night, I become a wizard! (This is a joke about magic numbers)
I have a book published on O'Reilly and I have only a basic grasp of my book's concepts.
I never write or use automated tests. I think automated testing is a waste of time unless your software is really serious, like for medical equipment or an airplane. A web site is not a big deal. Just give it the usual test it by hand, and that's good enough.
After struggling with SOAP in PHP, I used SoapUI to generate valid XML, and hard coded a cURL function with copy/paste for every single API call.
I put WAITFOR in my SQL code for amusement if I don't want you, client code monkey, to use it
I override the + operator with * in the classes I don't like from other coworkers and commit with their accounts.
I use, abuse, fight over, and write blogs on Monads, yet I don't understand them.