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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
Swagger.io sucks a huge cock!

peter gantz is a mark ass bitch

clusterfuckclownshoes.org = a new idea we are working with

My current position involves listening to a lead who doesn't know C#, and wants to use every new framework that is available, as it becomes available. Then I get berated for not delivering things in a timely manner, because learning each of these frameworks takes time, when I know I could just write this shit in a day or two. Advise?

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I'm starting to think about bugs in the form of documentation and impl​ementation. sometimes the code is just following the documents in which case should be fixed in the doc in the first place in order to keep them in sync.

Why ORACLE DB isnt easy to manage like MS Access???

In der Ruhe zuhause finde ich eher völlig neue Ansätze als im Tagesgeschäft.

I get 20 calls a day from indian recruiters that I can barely understand.

can i kill myself yet?

hopefully you will still be around when i'm not able to hold this back any longer. i wouldn't want you to miss out on the fun

sometimes, when a confession only gets condemned I absolve so the person won't feel bad.

I love my job. Good people, good problems to solve, and plenty of green space work to be done.

can someone let me know what goes through people's minds that like to tell very long stories about mundane things people will obviously not care about? do you not realize we don't care? the need to talk is strong enough that you decide to just tell the story anyway?

why would i want to help you do something that you are just too lazy to do yourself? here, help me wipe my ass. god.i.hate.people.

I'm a Drupal developer by trade but have come to love react and node. I'll never be able to jump ship to those techs because I have no commercial experience :/

Not sure I've gone longer than an hour without getting insanely bored at work over the last two years.

I work on "relaxed" clothing standard places, where coming in flip flops is ok. But i have discovered i just feel disgusted, enraged, nauseous when I see some mofo wearing flip flops and their toe nails are longer than 1 cm!, WTF!, I respect you for your engineering skills my dear indian friend, but for the love of all that is holly, please clip those fuxing claws!, I cannot pay attention to scrum or sit near you when you are showing every body those disgusting germ beds!, OMG and now is the hands!... i wish toe nails were in the KPI!

I just left my new gig after 10 days. The developers were all expected to write code in the dev server using VI. I haven't used VI since college, over 10 years ago

I worked in a project where i could only work on the server because my local IP was not whitelisted. Every change in GIT would read "update" or "test" and i felt guilty.

From my experience, developers most of times are unfair with Testers. I had this crazy time when I was writing an automation script and a lame-ass dev came to me yelling: Why should I trust you?! I was like "What"? He continued: "Why should I trust you that the feature is not working? It is perfectly fine to my computer! Why you wrote that is not working?" I nervously said because I get paid to find bugs and you don't have to trust me. Its professional, its not working at mine and why you get this personal? Than the manager called us in office to solve the argue like it was in kindergarten administration office. So guys, don't get personal with testers. They basically save you ass in front of the client and protect company's prestige.

fuck feminism and token quotas

Today I saw a job description for a Web Developer position that wanted someone who has experience with C/C++, Perl, Ruby on Rails, Java, C# and ASP. I called the number and told her I only had experience with classic ASP and that was from 17 years ago. BTW the pay range was $50-60K.

I lie when I say I don't care what applications my devs us to do their job. I just don't have the authority to tell them to use the build automation scripts we built for the IDE or they're fired. 100% of the people who won't follow process are Mac users. Since I can't fire these problem players, I now just refuse to hire Mac users, because I'm afraid they'll follow this pattern.

My colleague implemented internationalization with if...then...else, besides perverting the whole architecture and creating shitty visual components by hand where there was a meaningful standard one. I lost all the respect for the guy and can barely look at him in the face. I got disgusted by his voice and hair and his handwriting. I know I should approach kindly and show him the advantages of being the opposite, but I'm too freaked out. To start a conversation

I have not seen a bigger garbled mess lile android development since oracle apex, maybe I just hate java