Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

People should be having fewer children. Ram that idea down the throats of your citizens. Then say that we need immigration because we are blow the replacement rate. Huh, that sure seems odd... Also, please make sure to never suggest that countries above the replacement rate curb their activities. That would be such a horrible things to say.

Immigrants (legal / illegal) decimate blue collar wages. H1B are here to fuck with white collar wages. China and others buy all our property. Yeah, absolutely zero issues being caused in the country by foreign actors. WAKE THE FUCK UP.

When are manufacturing was getting deep dicked, were people suggesting to bring in mass amounts of illegals to fill those spots in order for those companies to be able to compete and stay in the US? Why are we concerned about a few farming sectors that will have trouble surviving on artificially low wages? Why not look at it the same way? Can't compete globally on a certain crop? Guess we aren't growing those then, hey?

Telesketch iPhone App
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A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
The days after I finish a project and get paid are days as a truly free man, I can taste the air when I breathe in, feel the warmth of sunshine on my bare nipples, wind through my skirt exposing my sexy lingerie, the colors of the world tickle my balls and make my dick explode. That's why I code, not for codings sake, for the sticky aftermath.

all code is shit, and all good code is just an organized hack

all code is shit, and all good code is just an organized hack

I tested my web development skills to develop This App:

Why aren't we freaking out about the lack of male kindergarten teachers?

Why isn't there a website that makes my life seem meaningful? Why do we have all this technology surrounding us, enveloping us, changing our routines and habits but not making us any happier or content? Why do we abstract all the face-to-face communication, the social reunions and ceremonies to a soulless, emotionless computer screen ? What is happening to this world?

Every once in a while I have to do some work in Java, and it makes me want to murder people.

I sometimes deliberately put small obvious errors into my code so that my hot team lead can point them out and feel good about himself. There's a lot of raw brusque homoerotic tension between us now.

Is the Scrum fad over yet? Haven't seen that many rants about it lately. I'm taking time off between jobs waiting for the industry to regain some sanity.

It's not that I think I'm any smarter than you. It's just that I've been in this situation more times than I care to remember, and this is not going to work out like you have envisioned.

I like it when my coworkers are assholes. That way, I don't feel guilty hating them for their incompetence.

The bootcamp I work at says they don't have the budget for another full time employee. Bitch please. You average 30 students per class across multiple states and they pay between 7-20k. Two - four students alone would pay for my shit salary for a year. You greedy fuck heads. Good thing I haven't pushed my finished CLI for them because I'm going to wait a year for my DNC to end and sell it to the highest bidder. Fuck these guys. I spend 20 hours a week for unpaid office hours.

The hyperloop mainframe runs on javascript. Preorder now.

in my contract is that i have to work as a Back end developer, but actually i have to do back and front end ... rip :D

I just had a recruiter email me a job description that said "...and JUnit framework for developing the front-end".

Every new line of code I write in this (sh*tty) project is killing one of my nonexisting brain cell.

Full-stack JavaScript. It's the future you guyssss

I write contingency protocols for the leading manufacturer of aerospace materials, primarily spacesuits and visors. Only recently management have come down on us like a ton of bricks requiring that we incorporate a "priority release mechanism" into all our spacesuits in the event of "unforeseen projectile masturbatory discharge". What the actual fuck?

Why bother with a functional language when you're going to complicate everything with OOP?!

My team's stand up meetings last over an hour, not normal for such a small team. I complain about the length of these meetings, I get told that I should learn to listen to other and that it's important what others have to say. Fucking imbeciles! I don't care about the random mail they got or what their children are doing!