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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

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Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
My company hired an outsourced team of 5 to do the same job as my team of 2. We have been working on the exact same project for almost a year and we've been unofficially pitted against one another in different repos. Our project has been highly successful and we've been praised for our work. The outsourced one doesn't even run. When the fuck will companies learn?

Christians and muslims are like JS devs arguing over frameworks. Idiots - the problem is that the core principle is rotten, not the shade of lipstick you're putting on your pig

I've had several companies contact me over the past few months after initially rejecting me and going with a cheaper foreign alternative. In every case, they went for the cheaper technical expertise and ignored the communication and business skills... and the project(s) suffered for it. When will they learn, you can't put anyone in charge of a project, and treat developers like field hands?

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I confess the inability to solve the assigned problems quickly enough. Other people's code, I have next to no idea what the actual issues are, I was told "yeah this doesn't work but we really want it to work, so just go make it more stable", and I'm supposed to magically do this with a tech stack I've never encountered before. In one week. I'm 3 days in and have barely made any progress.

OMFG!!! This is not Inja!! im at an open office in the middle of some indian mob. They discuss in other language technical problems!!! HEY MOFOS I NEED TO LISTEN!!! or not?. AT LEAST DONT SING! fux! they sing faggot indian songs! and join in different voices like some bollywood nightmare!, Thank God im living soon this circus...

I'm very depressed about the direction that extremist liberals are taking in regards to sex and relationships. I'm afraid to start a new relationships because I feel like everyone these days is into polyamory, swinging, orgies and all that. Could you be with someone that used to get gang-banged on the regular?

I think dogs are probably better than most people.

I hate all of these retarded new gadgets like Amazon Echo. It's stupid, unnecessary crap for business faggots and tabloid-tier tech magazines to circlejerk over.

DevOps faggots take note: your job is to make sure you dont have a job... you are hired by the business layer not the technology layer, with the ultimate goal of "automating"... all of you will be replaced by a dirty script...

Screen_shot_2017-11-28_at_20.03.52 God fucking damn it. Fuck typescript. Fuck angular 2/3/4(/5?) I've been trying for 8 fucking hours to get pouchdb to work with angular 4 and no success.

I'm a C++ dev, specialized in Real Time and 3d. I'm also a proud father, and stay at home dad, and a SJW.

He doesn't know a thing about tech, he's worthless as an assistant, he has no future in this industry, he has no experience in business, management, scheduling, or even just practical everyday knowledge. But the thing that offends me about the dude that my client assigned to me is that he's so fucking ugly and insists on wearing stupid ass tight pants.

Rails and Laravel have a certain "smugness" to their tutorials and documentation reminiscent of a teenager discovering Unix for the first time.

I spent more time fixing my code up to make it pretty for the upstream open source project than I did just to get the feature my paying client asked me for.

My last coding job was so bad (unpaid overtime, unrealistic deadlines, stressed constantly, etc.) that I have barely coded anything in almost a year… and I'm fine with that. After 16 years of loving coding, it only took 2 1/2 to break me. Now I'm hoping to get a project management job so I can keep other developers from going through this shit. — anyone hiring?

I had an interview recently with a manufacturing company who was in the Dark Ages. No source control, no code reviews, no way to track bugs, no specs, and "testing" was done by some random middle manager. Yet their DBA (lol) was the most arrogant know it all prick I've ever interviewed with. The interview was an interrogation and his smugness was over the top. I stopped caring 5 minutes in and turned the interview onto him to show all of his colleagues he had no idea what he was talking about and then noped the fuck out of that shit hole. Never again.

I get nervous, in a good way, around confident older men. So many daddies in upper management. Bet they could teach a fresh grad like me a few things with all that experience and worldliness. ;)

7c2c07191d25935b00df33ceb3802d3655d7a31e6a12e372da8eb631102d9c36 Remember to SMASH THAT ABSOLVE BUTTON and don't forget to comment and subscribe to this confession.

there are two kinds of bug closing resolutions: by-design, accidentally-by-design

UWP is laughable and I can not understand why its getting so much attention

I rejected a girl when I found out she's a Scrum master.

In my company, there’s a „software architect” who is simply a clueless cowboy coder promoted because he hasn’t switched jobs for 10 years. He only knows one language, doesn’t follow trends and his code is overengineered, nontested crap. I know that bringing this up will only harm me, so I am keeping my mouth shut.

Just walked the living fuck out of multiple yout driven vehicles after they kindly asked for the lesson. They however taught me one as well. I might have put airbase runways on them, but they has backseats filled with the young gals. Getting old is kind of a mix, isn't it. Nice to finally have money to buy crap you wanted at that age. Kinda shit to not have the other benefits that they do have.

thinkpads make me hard