Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Some of my old colleagues thought the CEO cared about their feelings during some retarded sit-in-a-ring-around-the-CEO meeting (they probably designed it like that to make him look vulnerable... lol). Fuck off. He makes 20x what you do. You're worthless to him. If you can't even see through shit like that (like autists can't), you're fucked. The only way to win is to get out. You deserve better.

Only the smartest programmers seem to write in a casual style (Linus Torvalds for example, even if he's a dick). The rest think they sound smart by writing like a pretentious 15-year-old with a thesaurus.

Whenever I see someone "livecoding", typing out 10 lines a minute while talking over it, it scares me. That's how you end up with unmaintainable shit down the line, folks. I hope people don't do that in real life.

Ugh devs are so hard on ops on backups. How bout I get hard on you for not writing tests and later having to manually edit production SQL because of course your edge cases happened?

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Bbv-compressor To all those complaining about github.. I bet you use PC's and think nothing of it.

Just registered a GitHub account. Let's hope that more socially well-adjusted people will use it now that Microsoft is in charge. I hope they start charging for it to drive out the poor hippies.

Long monstrous email thread that have a mix of top and bottom posting of "Acknowledged will check"

github before ms. gitbug after ms. sorry for it.

in the trust, who’s like IBM product’s, like watson, machine learning, assistan and others similars?

Just deleted my github *sigh*

My last boss was a sociopath - not shortly after my mother's death he took the word of two dipshits that I was drinking every night. Said dipshits had no evidence except hearsay and it was absolute lies. I had to get HR up from London to sort it out, and obtained evidence from my doctor and my wife to back me up. I then found that my private life should not have been intruded on by my boss anyway. HR asked me to press charges and I said no. The old prick retired a couple of months later. I wish I'd had him and the lying colleagues sacked. Moral of the story: if you think your boss has it in for you, he probably has.

I hate my boss with all my guts. He wrote a mail (no balls to tell me straight in the face) about the things he didn't like on me and my work - a few valid points, some utter bullshit. But the thing that I'll never forgive him was actually his "positive" list. It contained exactly two points: I'm fast when I focus (what a poisoned compliment), and that I'm good in functional programming. I guess if just think just two minutes, you can find more positive things to say about Hitler. I have violent fantasies.

All your open source belongs to Microsoft!!! BEND OVER AND TAKE IT, YOU FOSS-LOVING PEDOPHILES!!!!!!

Everyone on here seems to hate Agile. What's the alternative oh enlightened ones? Be specific.

Whenever I see source trees with more than four levels of subdirectories or so, I assume the devs are either incompetent or trying to look busy.

I always thougth that a software developer shouldn't be a fanboy of one programming paradigm in respect to another. He shouldn't be limited in thinking. Why to use only OOP concepts, or only procedural or functional ones? Why one paradigm should be better than others? A great developer can mix the good concepts of all paradigms and write a great piece of software. A bad developer is always a bad developer. Am I Wrong?

Consulted for a company for four months before they wanted to hire me. Now they want to put me through some kind of IQ test. What's the point? They already like my work enough to want to hire me, and it's exactly the kind of work I'll keep delivering, regardless of whether I turn out to be a complete dumbfuck or Albert Einstein. All they've done is turn me off to working for them, and made me suspect that they have a shitty impersonal corporate culture going.

I'm tired of hearing about machine learning, deep learning, AI, etc. It's a bunch of brittle hacks that only work for the simplest of problems. Flavor of the month!

Data and code must stay separate, no decorators please!

That sounds like something an extreme autist with no friends would say.

Some people seem to think they sound fancy if they use the term "use case" as often as they can. It just sounds silly guys...

I fucking hate hearing the term "Baked in" when referring to software. Why can't you use plain English you millennial pricks????

Parsing with regex. In Python. Realized the package re is good for nothing. Ye-ho pip-install-save-the-world again.

What is it with foreigners and not putting periods between sentences? Haven't other languages invented sentences yet?

I committed a fix to a stupid bug of my own design with the commit message "I can't even". Today was a hard day.