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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

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Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I used "maven-antrun-plugin" to copy the JAR to another directory for testing. It felt like a nasty little hack, but it worked and I got to leave work on time and go ride my bike.

Why is writing code fast considered a good thing? It just means you sacrificed the quality of your product so you can dupe people into buying shit

Pythons where its at. Udemy blablabla

Whenever some autistic asshat is about to complain about stupid users, I just say that whatever it is confuses me too. That way, they're forced to call me dumb to my face, and I'm above them. Fucks nicely with their minds.

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Apparently Python is where it's at.

Python's where it's at. You can do almost anything with it. You know, you should take this Python course over at UDEMY. FUCKING TAKE THE COURSE, CUNT. TAKE THE COURSE AND PAY YOUR MONIES. Because you'll NEVER make those monies back.

Why the fuck did any of us learn to code and keep up with the latest tech when some dipshit can flip juicy fresh never frozen burgs at McDonalds make more money than we can?

Python's where its at. You can do almost anything with it. Like spend years studying a language and honing a craft only to earn half of what the fucking cunt electrician next door does for fitting wire. Fuck off.

Why the fuck did any of us learn to code and keep up with the latest tech when some dipshit can take a 3 day "agile manager" course and make more money than we can?

Came home from work. Found my Indian replacement sucking a dog's cock while the JavaScript AI killed my wife and took all our jobs. There, I think I covered all recent post types with that one.

im kinda happy im fired, now i can date that ine bitchy dev with no repurcussions if things go wrong.

One thing I can't seem to get used to while working with a lot of first generation immigrants from India is how they never seem to acknowledge they don't know something when they don't. Instead, they ignore or avoid the question, or even deny that what I'm asking is relevant. Is it really that hard to say you don't know something or just point to the right person to talk to so nobody wastes time? What I often see is they make everything vague or obfuscate the topic at hand so it's easier to say they've done their part of the task. I can't stand working with people like this.

I shot the sheriff. And I also shot the cunt who wrote this: "Grails manages a Spring bean for handling file uploads called ‘multipartResolver’, which is an instance of Spring’s CommonsMultipartResolver. "

By our own coding standards, our CEO wouldn't be able to get a job at this company. Yet every day he writes some shitty python or php piece of crap that doesn't even do what it's supposed to do. How do I fire him?

Pythons where its at. You know you should take this Python course at udemy.com. Guys its over. Too many fucking people on the programming train. Salaries stagnating, corporate environments starting to treat people like cattle, programming courses popping up left right and centre, fucking foreigners working for peanuts infiltrating the system. It's over. Fuck this shit.

Honestly think getting beat up is more enjoyable than sitting in this fucking cube with nothing to do.

I've done maybe two weeks worth of work this entire year.

I have a total meltdown if one of my colleagues adds a globaly scoped function in PHP in a preexisting file that only defines globally scoped functions. But when I write new JavaScript for new features, you better believe I add 10 new globally scoped functions in a new file. What's an IIFE? Cause I've never heard of that before. JavaScript is so bad LOL

Errbody too cool for design patterns until it's time for the guy who isn't too cool for design patterns to unfuck their concurrency model.

SURVEY: Click 'Absolve' if you use ReSharper (Curious on the percentage.)

except: pass # who cares

"This tech test should not be viewed as a race and we really don’t mind how long it takes, as long it is returned within a week or so. We are really keen to see your best work and it will show if it has been rushed or not." - a message from the HR manager of the company I applied to. You might not "mind how long it takes" doll, but I do!

I use the autoblock machine while watching Minecraft hentai

What do you do on those days when you simply can't concentrate and code?

Sometimes when I'm bored at work I will go to a Reddit sub that I barely follow, and go through each post clicking to downvote. Then later I return and watch as the hardcore posters start complaining and accusing each other. Ha har har hee hee hee