Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Today I took the plunge and handed in my resignation. They seemed disappointed. They thought it was something to do with my coworkers or management upsetting me. I explained to them that today's web development is not what I grew up with, that I was unhappy with the way it was evolving and that I no longer felt enamored or enthused by coding. It had become a grind, an awful mind numbing monotonous and confusing process of repetition. I told them I wanted to get out of web development and run my own business developing a B2B product. They showed me the door and told me to leave my stapler.

Fuck London in it's greasy, EU-lubed anus. I hope you guys are ready for the decline!

I am a lead. I was fired for choosing better Technologies and methodologies and making sure that my team above all else were happy with what they were doing and understood why we were doing things. my job and my ultimate goal is to make sure that they feel like they have a voice and are not just treated like Geek Squad.

Google did the right thing we can finally fire all the brogrammers

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
Business user emails a screenshot of an app asking me to remove a user. In the screenshot resides a remove button, so the users can do this on their own. We aren't hiring the best!

The arrogance of people in this industry is astounding. Heaven forbid you're a front end developer, PM, QA, devops, UX, or anyone that can't stroke their dicks over algorithms for hazing interviews for "The Big 4". If you don't fit in this tiny category you basically don't matter to these ego driven pricks.

I really hate bower

What tech/platforms are considered modern web technologies?

I don't care about politics and all that, but to put it simply I do treat women and men differently at work. It's the only way I can get anything done. I guess some people refuse to acknowledge this even though they probably do to, sometimes without realizing it.

I hate working with people who write like shit. It just pisses me off. You can't take a few seconds to not make it look like the whole industry is full of idiots? Or are you that dumb for real? Cause in that case we're fucked.

"The application will pull xx type employee from xx table and yy employee from yy table. For any employee that cannot be found on either table, zz will be listed as a placeholder for their name". "Why does such and such have zz listed as their name?" Harness the power of that MBA, lovely lovely lovely inept fucking good for nothing.

Apparently "I don't remember fucking your wife, so I don't feel responsible for your kids" is not the appropriate answer to "can you do my job, I have to pick up my kids from school"

Go live for a real important project is about a week away. We still do not have all the requirements. Still unable to comprehend how big of a fucking shit show this place is. How is there not another company coming through and putting us out of business? Are most people just this incompetent? Honestly.

Why do I constantly get the most complex projects or parts of projects. Please. Fucking. Stop. It.

Our project manager is just the best. She is a beast on facebook. Has her task descriptions down to about ten letters. So helpful. Get back to the horses, lady. Keep those priorities straight.

I need to learn to never take the initiative on anything. Every time I do I get saddled with the work for it forever or people tear it down publicly because they don't want to contribute themselves in the future. It's always better to fade into the background and do the bare minimum to collect checks. We all end up as worm food anyway so fuck it.

I dream of killing some of my coworkers.Every day minutes before quitting time they remember that they need to ask me some crap. Every day I end up staying one or more hours to change shit, and during the day I sit on my hands because they can't be bothered to do their part until the end of the day. Fuck,it's 19:40 and I still argue if S or C is the correct naming convention and fucking changing it is going to take at least another hour. FUCK!

You can be the best programmer in Google or Microsoft, but if you can't hold your beer or score in a brothel with a 20 wrapped round your dick, you're not really up to much in life.

Tempted to stop going into work and not answer calls and just watch everything crash and burn

What's the difference between a startup CTO and a web developer?

My startup just died and I now feel like an unemployed bum. Not sure whether to focus on some consultancy, start something new or get a job. Yet the panic comes from having an unstructured day.

I am a cofounder/CTO of 4years of failed startup. What job can I now do? As a CTO, i can code PHP/SQL/HTML/Javascript/PhoneGap. As a co-founder I learnt how to sell and pitch. I need to satisfy both parts of my brain that correspond to sales and code. Anyone got recommendations?

Visual Studio. It's the incredible bloat of the thing. It's weighed down so much by features that I do not want or need. I don't want SQL Server express & all the associated bloat that comes with that. I don't want IIS express and all the associated bloat that comes with that. I don't want freaking Entity Framework and its associated GUI designers. I don't want bloody "Blend for Visual Studio", I thought that crap was dead. I don't want TFS explorer - TFS is crap and everyone knows it, including Microsoft. I don't need a WPF designer UI, I don't need a WinForms designer UI. I certainly don't need a WebForms designer UI (shudder). All I want is a text editor that lets me write & debug code.

Screen_shot_2017-08-08_at_10.59.49_am This is James. James is a virgin who's only sexual experiences involve compiling his porn collection. James got intimidated by women who code better then him so he wrote 10 pages about his insecurities. James got fired for created creating a hostile workplace. Don't be like James.