TOP
X

Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
since the year began, I have written over 2 million lines of uncommented core code for a new platform, I am now going to quit and move to another country, how much do you think they'll pay to fly me back just to explain wtf I wrote?

I doubt any of us ever started out thinking, "I one day wish to work for some stranger among so many overworked imbeciles with a manager breathing down my neck to create things he could never understand for clients who will never appreciate because I so desperately need their money to justify my existance". Or did you? Seriously...fuck you if you did.

Our contractor for Web dev told it would take them three months and 12.000€ to implement this new service tool. I did it on 000webhost.com in two days, including learning what I needed from SQL, CSS and PHP I had no idea about, since I was a java/C# back end dev so far. Is there an empire of WEB dev companies exploring the market with no respect at all for customers? I'm in Germany, though, not as much competition as in the USA.

I completely agree with everything this gay is saying

Recommend Reading
Confess Less. Code More.
Check out our recommended reading list for becoming a better programmer.
A relative asks me to code something too complex and needs a lot of work and time and keeps on asking to get it done. I work for a big company as full time and just started my master in parallel. Advise?

Why does everyone including devs themselves think we are anti social? Like we are all socially inept, virgin neckbeards who waltzed out of our mothers basements when we got jobs, I hate it when I hear people put devs dowm like that, I happened to be a human form artist before I started coding and I deal with people far better than most of these manager types. We all have different backgrounds.

A component receives some information from another one. They just filled a bug against the component that sends the information and it sounds like this: "when the *some field" is the empty string, our component gets stuck into an infinite loop. You should validate your data and never send empty strings". To add more insult to the injury, the requirements they provided for that data explicitly states that that field should be the empty string if the information is not available.

Is it worth coding anymore when someone who has never looked at a texteditor for more than an hour or written fucking hello world in any language can get a better paying job in tech? What like you think its so hard using accouting software to do basic maths or drawing a ui on a fucking piece of paper?? I could learn everything about your career in minutes!!!

Most career coders and engineers hate their jobs because the absolute majority have never madea any personal projects, you spend all your shitty days writting shitty code for shitty clients, makes you think you are shitty.

Been there, done that - doesn't work for me.

Seeing so many friends in unhappy marriages makes me feel slightly better about not being married. but sorta not.

I used to believe that as a QA one does not need to know or have a programming background (as I was taught by ISTQB). I am an ISTQB certified tester and I feel ashamed for believing that after I started to learn programming.

I hate .NET programmers and their "I" prefixes on all interfaces. So stupid and inconsistent. Why not prefix an abstract class with an "A" too? *sight*

I've been on my new job for two weeks. We have three "UI Experts" in our department who don't even know HTML. I've never seen anything like that. Is that the new thing?

My experiences developing Warcraft, with frequent all-nighters coding, and later Diablo, where I coded fourteen-plus hour days seven days a week for weeks at a time, suffered me to learn that there wasn’t any point in all-nighters.

Just saw a Sr. Architect position listed with a salary of $40K.

I don't think that I'm particularly smart so whenever I come across someone even less competent than me I'm kinda crushed and feel sad for the industry.

Someone should drive a truck around any IBM buildings to run over the faggots that created their shit products.

I hate adding new tools to XCode projects. Everything breaks!!

I passionately f**king hate VDIs. For real.

The backend team thinks they are fuxing scientist, take 2 days to add a property to an API call, write 2 lines of test fir every line of code, smell each other asses before pushing that to staging... still the stupid property doesn't work as expected, i have to debug on my side, play ping pong all day with them, i sent this, change that... and then get blamed for taking long to implement their shit on my mobile client

Was talking with a PM co-worker today. He was explaining how smart his PHD friends are. Basically saying PHDs are the smartest people in the world. Like developers do, I chewed on this for a bit, and I thought to myself: Engineers are by far the smartest people in the world. PM guy is wrong. Everyone needs to move aside and let us handle things. Brightest possible future. Ya'll niggas feel me?

i have a wall filled with framed pictures of every application icon from every application I've built, most people who see it think I'm into abstract art. I'm just a proud coder.

Our burndown chart burns up most of the time.

New job, new challenges, new stress. Also that moment when you realize everything at your old position wasn't quite as bad as you thought. Sticker Shock Anyone?!