Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Agile development can not do more than produce beta software.

If you ask a person to rate themselves, 10/10 of them will rate themselves a 7 or above, and 7/10 of them are wrong.

we have too many people and one bathroom at my office there's always someone shitting in there it's horrible

Dear recruiter, I'm not moving to some random overpriced urban jungle shithole to write code I can do from anywhere on the planet.

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
I don't want to be part of your social group.

Everything I know about postcards and Morse Code I learned in the military. Everything I know about REST webservices, Groovy, JSON, XML and other such bollocks, I stole from Stack Overflow. "Stack Overflow: Look for the Big Green Tick." [TM]

I use Bing for search, not because it's better, but because I hate how pretentious Google is.

I hate node JS. So I started learning Java and now I am stuck with very old and outdated tutorials.

Drama makes me feel like I'm alive. Stability sucks. The only slight glimmer of light recently was a bunch of spam bots filling our IRC channel.

What's your favorite Pokémon?

Since SO added social media ranking game type elements it has turned into an intellectual dick measuring contest and is largely useless.

If you're a stupid person, can you please stay away from the software industry? You're not helping yourself by trying to score a high paying job, because it won't last forever. You're like the dumbest kid walking around at Harvard, all of your classmates and professors are frustrated having to help you along. p.s. "Fake it until you make it" is the slogan of losers, never speak those words aloud.

My favorite programming language is PHP.

I should change these floats to decimal

Videogames are tools of the devil to turn you gay.

Why are there so many tonedeaf millenials? Did gene quality take a major dump recently? Is this why popular music blows nowadays? (And no, it didn't always blow, so fuck off with your misplaced snobbery unless you could compose a decent melody.)

I want to be in the darkness of my Visual Studio.

Django is digitalized faggotry.

It’s taken 20 years, approx. $2M, and a Computer Science degree to finally realize that I completely suck at coding.

I was watching a tech demo on youtube but when the speaker said "and what's more this allows you to integrate with docker" I shut the tab immediately. I have no regrets.

I have the cutest butt at the office.

I work for a PCI DSS compliant company. We store api keys in plain text in our database.

UWP is failing so hard in the market.

I hate to find a project in a faded js framework that I somehow got to "fix"

I once shoved a hot dog (wrapped in a condom) up my ass to see if I was gay. Turns out I didn't like it.