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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I used to hate agile retro/planning sessions, but i learnt to enjoy them. It is like 2 hours coffe break. Just sit and relax, while someone is talking mumbo jumbo.

Members of the team know exactly who the impostors are, we know you can't code, we know exactly what you mean when you try to talk your way out of questions by mentioning abstract topics, we're onto you, we cannot fire you however, you're actually more likely to get promoted.

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When I started using Django I got alot of push back, fucking hated it but now I think it's a pretty easy way to handle things

Pull-request ping pong is killing me, I just want to get things done... and yes I admit it could be perfect but with my current PR I leave the code in a better state then found why should we bother and spend one day on it ?

Will code for food. #NoShame

Half my job is fixing broken stuff, the other half is creating it.

I really don't like maintaining custom installation of Jira and Confluence

JS is BS, but Node is a good abstraction. Making hard things simple. I did a prototype in node, to test some functionality. When the great masters accepted the prototype, then OK, lets move it to our Jboss, real server.... Fux!, what took me half day to accomplish on node, took 4 engineers a day to get working... Java makes the simple hard and the hard, still hard. Is like a big double decker bus. That can do its thing, but is a pain to drive, ride.... while this "toy" approaches like node, feel like a DIY car that can shit itself anytime, but the fucker gets running quick on the road...

My success in programming/design was based upon learning/understanding of flow charts. That coding Fortran IV with punch cards taught me to understand if-not-was. Flow charts made understanding OOA/D/P very easy because in retrospect abstractly every node could be considered an object. In today's Math/Comp Sci majors or equivalent, are flow charts still used in problem solving? Y'all can figure out which vote is a yea and which is a nay.

How compact and uncommented code is seems to be proportional to how tricky the algorithm is. Should be the other way around.

I'm the one who posts the "meat spinner" GIF. It amuses me greatly to imagine someone behind you will overlook at your device and think your watching gay porn.

I just got promoted to manager and I don't know the business or the tech stack. I just started 2 months ago.

Can someone create a filtered version of this site where porn will not show?

The golden age of tech is over. Too many companies were set up on the shoulders of gimmicky ideas that they could never capitalize on in the long term. All these new hipster startups are out of business within five years, stupid ideas from stupid people. There's too many apps floating about, every idea has been thought of. Information overload and fatigue is slowly setting in to the consumer. Get out now while you still can!

I will kill stupid CTO of Ukraine

Go home if you are ill for f*ck sake!

quit fucking this site up