Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I fear my manager thinks that everyone on my team is black.

I watch the World Cup during work hours

Wake me up when June ends

Our CEO is worried about the size of my penis. He still loves my little tush though.

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i started to workout and do yoga classes

Addicted to too many things

I confess that I would like AA to do dong hangers on my face. I would be willing to submit myself to such treatment for the betterment of AA and the company. Hang away, Mr Adams.

The worst summer ever for me

How many of you fags are in $GEVO today?

Surest sign of a shit project: Git commit messages like "Fixing...", "Making...", etc. If you don't see what's wrong there, you're part of the problem. Maybe it's excusable if you're new to Git, but if you've used it for years, it means you pay zero attention to detail, and shouldn't be allowed near code either.

Football is pretty homoerotic, but at least it's not American Football level homoerotic. Major chubbie here.

The only thing I ever use google assistant for is setting alarms. All the rest is an unreliable gimmick.

I don't know if my colleagues like me or not

Standardize the process _before_ automating, assholoes. Ever heard of the saying "to err is human, to really screw things up takes a computer"? Whatever insanity you have in your system is only going to be magnified a hundredfold if you get your computer to repeat it.

I am a whiny bitch

I only work in IT because I'm a fat admirer.

Recruiters are like used car salesmen that don't know the basic features of the cars on their lot

Attila the Hun - Died at the ripe old age of 19.

UWP is such a piece of shit!

I have the worst gas today. I broke wind a few minutes ago and it smelled like gunpowder mixed with sour milk.

I'm boycotting StackOverflow. I can't tolerate rude cunts bullying those with lower reps any more- and I haven't even posted a question yet.

I _hate_ working with offshore Indian developers. Sure, I'm nice over chat, but think of them as sub-human robots internally at times.

I deleted my GitHub because I didn't feel like paying MicroSoft any money. I think their software is garbage and they are not friendly toward free, open source software that makes my life better for less money.