Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I just want to have sex with two bear daddies at once. The rest is just a side quest.

Lying on my deathbed, I will think back on that license checking code and realize it was all worthwhile. Truly the pinnacle of human achivement. Fuck off.

I would excel at a greenfield project, and have enough experience to build a robust modern system while following best practices should a good opportunity become available. But maintaining legacy spaghetti pays the bills. I'm starting to grow complacent and dead inside.

A Russian guy at work is pissed because the documentation guy points out his missing 'a's and 'the's all the time. It's pretty entertaining. Wonder if they even realize they do that...

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
Had an interview with a small tech company. Everything sounded pretty good until we started talking culture and average day to day life. I was told they don't allow people to out of the office to eat because they want them to eat in the office "as one big family". I declined a second interview.

Domain Driven Design. Great name, on every developers resume, and nocunt knows exactly how to implement it. It is the emperor's new clothes.

The injuns in my office smell like pancake syrup. Do they use it for cologne or something?

I punched the face of the cunt who thought this was a good idea: "kernel BUG at mm/page_alloc.c:2019!"

Autonomous weapons aren't the problem the AI. The problem is creating something that outclasses us in every way, and making ourselves irrelevant. That will never end well. Absolutely no malice required.

Why is it that women developers are ugly and/or speak with lisps? Fucks sake, start bringing in quality punani and make coding great again.

The day the AI droids start genociding us will be the happiest day of my life.

I have been "fixing" this stupid problem ALL DAY!!!, I made it work 1 time, it was glorious, then changed something, and it won't work again!!!, I know I wasn't dreaming when I saw it working!... why don't you work again?, why did I have to "polish" after my first success? oh, don't know what else to mutate...

Countries racing to become "AI leaders"... an advanced AI would at least be smart enough to realize that countries are pretty fucking irrelevant on the whole if the end result is to get us all killed, and not take part.

I just realized something today. Over the past 10 years I've worked at several different companies... and at every one of them I've seen more managers (from line manager all the way up to CIO) fired than anyone else.

I wish they would hire more whores at my company. I miss the good old days.

Starting to become a fan of the EU. Hope they keep fucking Google in its sterile corporate asshole.

Does anyone have an idea of a career that developers can move into with crap experience but good money? I can't stand this shit but don't know what kind of career I can have.

Fuck it I'm going to just do Wordpress. This shit sucks

Code Golf is a way of telling the world you're a virgin and will die alone.

Refuse to put money into AI-related fields. Give us another 100 years at least, you fuckers. Then the current gen will have time to die.

should i refuse to work on projects until they have a proper spec?

i3 -> terminator -> tmux -> vim -> many tabs/panes. My workstation is an inception of rectangles navigable by different hotkey groups. And I like it this way.

I have probably contributed to several tons of additional CO2 because of wasted CPU cycles, as my programs often use string comparison because I'm to lazy to use constants

I changed the git commited and authored dates for my open source project, so no one could see I commited a fix during work hours.

Young developers prefer nubiles over hard CEO cock, because their brains are still developing and they haven't found the path of most resistance yet.