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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I love how some of the dumbasses on here think low level programming is in any way superior to web code. What would you do without the web? Buy a book that's already outdated by 3 version? Twiddle your thumbs all day? You wouldn't be on this site without web developers. So kindly shut the fuck up because you're a piece of shit coder who can't do shit without us not to mention mobile development is shit without cordova, ionic, and react native. You don't know shit and you're jealous because you cant comprehend async or functional programming. Get the Fortran outta here. *mic drop*

Ada Proof Brogrammers are morons!

i'm using the best fucking framework goddamn fucking flavor of the month CumGobble.js. ITS THE FUCKING BEST AND IT STREAMLINES SPAS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER

Welcome to millennial detox camp. I'm confiscating your phone. Put it in the box. I'm confiscating your tablet and laptop, in the box. IN THE FUCKING BOX CUNT! OK. You, "developer"... shave that jungle quim patch you call a haircut. Get out of those skinny jeans, CONFISCATED. Now. Pick up a trowel. Walk over to the wall. Lay some fucking brick.

Telesketch iPhone App
Play Telesketch
A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
function mkcd { mkdir -p $1 && cd $1 }

Me and my whole team have been working for weeks on bugs that only appear on iOS devices ... f*ck mac! f*ck iOS! But hey .. let the bosses pay us for working on this crappy platform

I've never met a manager I actually liked. They're always some egocentric pieces of shit intent on making others feel inferior while brown nosing the fuck out of middle management and playing a two faced snake in the grass. justifying their job with redundant bullshit and procedure, but doing nothing to actually enhance performance, productivity or morale. fuck these people. destroy them.

XCode is total shite!

I always wonder what companies do with the aspies and anti-social autist developers. Where I work they are kept in a small room with one window and hardly speak to anyone except other developers.

Whenever an ideology has true believers who unconditionally defend it and are completely devoid of self-distance and humor, you can be sure you're dealing with bullshit. Communism, Scientology, the sovereign citizen movement, Agile and Scrum -- it's all the same.

why are we pushed to shit out "products" as fast as possible rather than take our time making something good?

I interviewed at [well known tech giant] yesterday and did not get the offer. I don't really mind because I have another great offer lined up, but I'm not sure how to feel about their feedback. They said they unanimously agree that I was very good at communicating my approaches and thoughts, but they decided to stay on the cautious side because I required a bit of help in the actual problem solving process. Thing is, I got all the brute force solutions correctly right off the bat. Then I needed a couple of hints to get to the most optimal solution for each interviewer, but I was able to get there and test my solutions pretty thoroughly. If this isn't enough, aren't they just looking for someone who's just gone through a shit ton of problems and memorized all the solutions?

This morning an Indian guy in my office said, "There's too many Indians here. That's the problem." Haha

I'm at this job working as IT support, the pay is about $600 USD which is being taxed and all and most days like sending in application for other jobs

Who wants the big money? Well fuck off, cause there aint none. This whole cloud bullshit is a bubble waiting to burst when people realize there's no fucking money in it and 99% of these SAAS companies that jumped on the bandwagon are actually losing money every month. Stupid business model, stupid stupid people.

Feminists like their men stupid.

So I've been reading these post and debating going to a bootcamp. why do some on here believe this industry is going to tank when the BLS data states 24% job growth. is it the industry or yourself?

Oh man I delight just knowing that you hipster cocksucking "coders" will soon be outmoded and replaced by a fucking raspberry pi. I laugh in glee at the thought.

If there is a God, this lady's husband beats the ever loving fuck out of her on a nightly basis.

I love workplace drama and gossip. Public outbursts between coworkers, mysterious firings, HR sending emails about inappropriate behavior, signs of the company being in trouble -- all great stuff. Stability is depressing.

I told fellow devs I don't like Javascript, and they are amazed. They say "typescript is really good" as if a wrapper round a shitty language proves javascript isn't that bad. Also, fuck Angular, fuck Knockout, fuck React and fuck any of the other flavours of the month. When are these frameworks gonna stop breeding??

Repost because everything said here hit the nail perfectly: getting out of web development. shit is a joke. stacks change too often, frameworks are a bloated complex mess, the industry is full of parasites and leeches, everything that comes out is a bandaid on a broken inadequate platform, tech moves faster than anyone can keep up with it, only appeals to young 18-24 year olds with no other focus or commitments, prime for exploitation and eventual burnout. fuck this industry.

When will you die IE11/Edge ?

I kind of want to start a new career doing something else, but I'm older now and make way too much money to do much else.

This student at my coding bootcamp is a PM. He said he's going to the class to learn if his developers are bullshitting him. He's also the laziest student, rarely shows up to class and doesn't even participate in the coding projects (didn't even bring his laptop once). Plus he seems like one of those micromanaging assholes who doesn't let you code and then asks why you haven't finished your sprint. Fuck this guy. Seriously want to waste his 10k and have the fucker fail out.