Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Why designers think, that if they found something fancy on codepen, we should implement it. "Just copy/paste it, and write something in it! Why is it that hard for you?"

I don't know how to command line...

Google puts the weirdest shit on their home page. It makes no sense.

Java is immortal!

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This place could fire half the people here and it wouldn't make a difference.

I (not so secretly) believe that Haskell engineers are superior in intellect and ability. Example: node.js creator went with javascript because he couldn't understand Haskell.

I’ve always wanted to kiss and have sex with a girl

Am using my free time for my own Chinese education style coding training, I get projects I made freelancing, quite across the board, perfect them then write them over and over again with different themes til I can rebuild an entire 2 months project within 8 hours without referencing online or docs. I hated constant tests in high school but those fuckers were unto something. I've improved greatly as a coder, am not a fake no more.

I hate working 9-5. Leave home, go to the office, and pretend that you are working. BS. Home = more productivity.

We have no requirements, specs, or visuals despite having a fully staffed product team. So in response I just make shit up as I go along when I develop new features or fix old ones. I then have to fix them again later when product changes their mind. I should be pissed about this but who cares when your paycheck is the same either way.

I made another JS framework

Web dev work is paid like total shit in the UK.

I'm starting over. What should my new stack be? (I'm learning from the ground up) 💻

I think it's just easier to ban traffic from on china, Eastern Europe and the trouble making countries in Africa.

do vampires live in mexico

I used to hate agile retro/planning sessions, but i learnt to enjoy them. It is like 2 hours coffe break. Just sit and relax, while someone is talking mumbo jumbo.

Members of the team know exactly who the impostors are, we know you can't code, we know exactly what you mean when you try to talk your way out of questions by mentioning abstract topics, we're onto you, we cannot fire you however, you're actually more likely to get promoted.

When I started using Django I got alot of push back, fucking hated it but now I think it's a pretty easy way to handle things

Pull-request ping pong is killing me, I just want to get things done... and yes I admit it could be perfect but with my current PR I leave the code in a better state then found why should we bother and spend one day on it ?

Will code for food. #NoShame

Half my job is fixing broken stuff, the other half is creating it.

I really don't like maintaining custom installation of Jira and Confluence

JS is BS, but Node is a good abstraction. Making hard things simple. I did a prototype in node, to test some functionality. When the great masters accepted the prototype, then OK, lets move it to our Jboss, real server.... Fux!, what took me half day to accomplish on node, took 4 engineers a day to get working... Java makes the simple hard and the hard, still hard. Is like a big double decker bus. That can do its thing, but is a pain to drive, ride.... while this "toy" approaches like node, feel like a DIY car that can shit itself anytime, but the fucker gets running quick on the road...