Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I use printf functions to debug my code. I'm going to burn in hell.

I feel really bad for Apple users.

I write most comments in limerick. It makes all my coworkers sick. My comments are fine, (and mostly they rhyme!) but my scrum master thinks I'm a dick.

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I worked on Windows at Microsoft and have never owned a Windows machine.

I think web developers are sissies.

I <b>try</b> to find XSS vulnerabilities in every webform <iframe width="420" height="315" src="" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

I and my husband are both male software developers.

I have no idea why I'm building what I'm being told to build. It seems completely useless to me.

I spend about 80% of my day surfing the internet.

I've worked from home for about 3 years, and I have only worn pants twice or three times.

While I believe they can be useful, I secretly hate everyone who talks about programming/web dev methodologies. Agile/Scrum/Xp/Kanban/Lean etc. It all sounds so yuppy.

I've been programming for around 10 years, and I still don't know jack about Design Patterns.

My boss always commits garbage and so my first task every morning is fixing his code. He doesn't know i do this as a conscious effort.

I'm a borderline Android and Linux fanboi, and don't own any Apple Devices. My day-job is iOS Developer.

I once dropped a live database because I got confused which browser tab was my local database and which was live. I spent the next 2hrs restoring it from a backup and didn't tell anyone.

I publicly disclosed security flaws after being told specifically not to fix them.

My comments, though mostly useful, sometimes contain bad puns

I'm procrastinating here in this coding confessional instead of coding.

I write code when I don't feel like doing my schoolwork.

I named a variable theySeeMeScrollingTheyHatin because I thought it would be funny, it's still in the code.

I like writing code in PHP

I never test my web apps on IE cause I don't really care

I was a victim of police brutality where they left me out in the woods, for me to walk for 4 hours in -10 degrees Celsius. This was 4 years ago and I have done everything in my power to ruin their lives online. Keyloggers, DDOS-attacks against their IPs, thousands of microtransactions from foreign countries, etc.