Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Ruby, Python, Swift, Dart. All languages that will be dead in 3 years. I'm avoiding them with a fucking passion.

Hi, I'm a female manager. I've been system owner of an app for almost six years. After six years I still can't grasp that users are uploaded on the user page. Hopefully I get another promotion!!!!! XD

50% of our team left in the last three months. Sticking around would be a bad decision, correct?

I always burn myself out at jobs, because I make an effort to not shy away from the boring-as-shit parts that I still consider basic professionalism. My colleagues just shove their ugly shit in, and are probably happier for it. Doing that would just make me feel like shit in a different way though.

Telesketch iPhone App
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A multiplayer, drawing game from the idiot behind Coding Confessional.
Are there come bitches on this? I have a big dick, comment your details for a fun time. I also can only write NodeJs, we're the future old man


Object oriented programming is the coding equivalent of sucking your own dick. Write some fucking functions and lets all move on with our lives.

Thank the heavens for these instagram models....these whores come with proper medical checks and for a couple of hundred you can raw dog them analy til all your inner demons are at peace. I no longer feel bad about never getting laid in college.

NegroScript - the latest and best JS library. It doesn't work. There is no documentation. It's guaranteed to break your shit. Doesn't fit in well with other libraries. But at least it's fast! wahey!

Black power! Fight your white overlords! Do not be subjergated to the white devil and his parade of honky tonk pencil pushing racists! Fight the power! Black is beautiful! Black and proud! Black and... oh is that a iphone I see poking out of your pocket? It is! Yoink! So long whitey! LOL. Fuck javascript too.

TIL about hoisting and undeclared variables in JavaScript. It makes me very sad.

Coding is dark and full of terrors!

I hate the term "use case". It's mostly used by people who think it makes them sound smart. Actual smart people talk about features and design.

hahaha I love coding confessional, you guys keep me sane

My girlfriend is being banged by like 20 different guys she has known through her life and I had absolutely no idea, am gonna go kill myself.

Devs love coding, but for fucks sake why are most shit at documentation? The millennials are barely fucking literate.

How does anyone concentrate and get in the flow with people constantly crowded all around you talking and yelling across the room?

Management here has our most experienced developers doing admin work, and kids right out of school doing architecture and leadership. Not good.

I played cellphone game almost half day and did nothing today, I feel so bad now.

Fuck software development! I've handed in my keyboard and now I'm off to the big open world of consulting. Fuck all yallz niggaz.

I fucking hate people who insist on processes and say shit like "it is generally considered a bad practice to X", without even thinking about *why* it would be bad, in *practical* terms. They tend to write like the people on r/iamverysmart too. Fucking morons. Your lack of independent thought fucks shit up to hell.

What is this shit?, JS wanting to act like a respectable language [typescript]. A respectable language wanting to act like JS [Swift]. All the faggots going for another silver bullet [reactive+functional]. Bashing their parents [Procedural+OOP]. Project managers thinking they can tell me what technology is best [Agile]. Having to poke my self to stay with a toothpick to stay awake [Meetings]. When will they understand I'm not a bricklayer [develoler]

I have no idea what a unit test is

I'd like to bash your skull in with a hammer at the same pace your faggot ass is eating those chips

The tech test I was sent by Britain's top car dealer looks like it's going to take days to complete. You guys reckon it's worth my time? How many hours max would you spend on a tech test?