Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.
I pine for the days when men wrote their own device drivers and people who called themselves CTO actually were qualified. Not just some fool who thinks a WordPress admin and writing some CSS enables them to call themselves whatever they want.
I think that C++ programmers are the worst programmers. So closed-minded and not willing to learn anything new because “C++ is the right tool to do the job and everything else is weird and wrong“.
I hide Monty Python quotes in my comments when I'm bored
I looked for, applied to, interviewed with and entertained an offer letter from a new job. From my current job's laptop.
When I code for a client, I know that I will never have to change the code later on so I usually never remove comments, refactor code or do things that I would do on my personal projects.
I neeedlessly restore databases so that I can surf the internet while it restores.
The NIH principle is becoming more attractive the longer I'm exposed to poorly coded systems.
Sometimes I don't use braces on single line if statements.
We are beyond .dll Hell now. It is now framework Hell.
Three years of iOS development and I know almost nothing about UIViewControllers and "standard" Apple's application model. What's worse, it is not going to change, at least at my current company.
I have so many computers that even with the lights and the AC off, the breaker routinely trips.
I just spent my weekend writing a ten page proposal on how to fix the complete disaster of our build processes. If its not accepted next week I'm quitting on the spot.
I think people who use the command line exclusively and refuse to use IDEs are self-righteous pricks who let their own arrogance limit themselves and their productivity. (Not to say that command line editors aren't incredibly useful at times, but they're not the end-all-be-all of writing code.)
I read company mails during my vacation and mark them unread again.
after months of crashes and not being able to do any testing because the client refused to get a staging server, I am finally one up. THANK GOD
I'm resuming by job hunt after I discovered that many of our Java design decisions were based on the premise of having less files. There are 12000 line classes containing a collection of static methods, some 1000's lines long, all written in a procedural fashion. I'm pretty sure my boss just referred to a class as a method too. TFIF.
Every file I touch, I remove any new lines from them that I deem unnecessary.
I did some architecture diagrams. I titled the things I like with Eurostile, and the PHP in black letter.
I've begun to use my manipulation techniques on my co-workers in order to create a UX that's useful to our actual users instead of their individualized and un-focused thoughts of how the product should work. I'm not faultless, so occasionally I've led them in the wrong direction. I'm still going to keep doing it. I develop and manipulate for the greater good. A few may just fall off the cliff along the way.
I had to explain to my Boss/Project Manager who has been a developer for seventeen years what a wire frame mockup is.
Optimizing databases is fucking hard work, I respect DBA's way more now that I've had to deal with this pain.
I like helping other programmers. It gives me a good feeling. But I hate helping programmers who expect you to hold their hand through everything.
I knock together software that works quickly, then refactor it to use design patterns and best practices later. If a deadline comes before all the refactoring's done, so be it.
I've worked three shitty jobs in a row where the employers have more or less misrepresented the nature of the job upfront, as well as the opportunities for advancement, and I have seen some truly awful infrastructure. I cleaned up my resume to remove anything that vaguely resembled an exaggeration but I'm starting to think that everyone in this industry is an inveterate liar.
I found SQLi in a friend's site, and I didn't tell him because he has no security background I didn't feel like explaining it. I'm an asshole =(
I have been at my current job for almost 2 years now and never used the phone on my desk. People say I am very difficult to track down.
I actually wrote the following code in C : *(int*)out = gcd(*(int*)in,*(int*)out); //in and out are void pointers. I'm need absolution...
We got a new dev recently, came in dressed like a freak from a music video. Trenchcoat, combat boots and everything. Right away I hated him, I don't know why. It's been a month or so since then and it turns out I was just a judgmental prick. He works harder than anyone else in the office and is all smiles all the time.
The web.config files gives me goosebumps. The vital part of the whole project is the web.config file. If anything goes wrong in this file then god help you.
I am a engineer who has worked and developed tons of nice web 2.0 and highly interactive user-friendly websites by myself. The current project that I am on has a UX designer and I constantly question some of his mockups He hates me!
Becoming a programmer was one of the worst decisions of my life. I actively work to change my profession. There are days I'm so mad I just sit in my office and cry, because of how much time I waste dealing with bad code instead of actually solving problems. Software industry is a navel-gazing mess. I want out, as soon as possible.
I used Regular Expressions to parse XML in a SQL stored procedure
I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, I hate macros, ... (regarding c or c++ preprocessor macros)
When I started to work at my current job, I got assigned to a project that was developed over three years by 3 different people. The first wrote some algorithm test software in Java, the second created a webend in PHP using Zend Framework which looked like a school project in fifth grade and the third connected those two by adding a server to the Java project that is queried by the PHP webend. I started to write the whole thing from scratch.
I resigned from a project (gracefully) because I didn't like the attitude of one of the initiators of the project. Especially when he sprung his patent attorney on me and proceeded to ask me questions on how I would go about solving problems without warning.
I used PHP and need absolution for the things I've done and eye bleach for the things I've seen.
I found some data alignment bugs so big, with errors that accumulate so quickly that there's NO WAY our testers actually did their jobs because they said "ship it". So we did.
I just resigned to go to work for double the salary with a much more interesting technology. I can't help but feel a bit scared and very very sad.
I had to have a demonstration of a program I was writing, and I put it off until the last minute. So instead of coding it properly, I'm presenting code that just runs itself while I pretend to be involved.
I've gotten so lazy that I've used sudo chown -R john:john /*
I was trying to lean asp.net and vb.net in my last job and then i resigned to pursue my masters, here i got an internship to develop ios apps. now learning objective c and xcode is fuckin difficult.
I think I'm starting to develop anxiety attacks from stress from work.
I don't really care about how my tasks are prioritized, I always work on the one which is the most interesting for me. I also tend to slack away 90% of my time when they shovel the menial shit on me.
I'm so bad at this, that I'm going to start referring to my methodology as 'TTTABD' for "Try Try Try Again Based Development". At least I write tests!
Trying to use pointers in Rust makes me feel like I should shave off my beard and become a Windows desktop sysadmin.
I want to be a game developer, but I want to have a regular paycheck more.