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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
if you learn to live with no expectations then life isnt actually too bad. but it means accepting something that we all know deep down - that we are not in control of our lives. we are just chess pieces that big players move around and they give us the impression that we can do what we want, work wherever we like and be who we want. understanding the lie makes it difficult to plan ahead.

fuck you wordpress developers!

Hard to put into words how god damn boring this work is.

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Chuck Norris pairs alone. Chuck Norris passes his tests before he writes them. Chuck Norris once programmed a waterfall using Agile. Chuck Norris can refactor code while it is compiling. Chuck Norris once squashed a bug with a roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris does not make syntax errors: the compiler adds a rule to support what he means. Chuck Norris doesn't throw or catch: whatever code he wants to run will run, no exceptions.

It doesn't take that much time to take a cock, it takes alot more time to envision, to stretch your man pussy so clearly, that's something non-homophiles just can't understand, not everything is thrust between my tender butt cheeks.

It doesn't take that much time to write code, it takes alot more time to envision, to see what something will be so clearly, that's something non-devs just can't understand, not everything is a tacked on script.

22857799_378668229255117_3019367609725353984_n The Wall is a very important tool in stopping frameworks from pouring into our community and poisoning our devs!

Tfw the big titty coworker left

Trump I'm not good president but ican't say that to the world

I was sold on your job until you mentioned "regular team activity days".

I just wanna make money so I can pursue my real dreams without fear of being kicked out of my apartment next month.

As a programmer with a certain degree of social anxiety, I am set aback by how much interaction and communication is involved in the job. Wasn't really expecting it to be this way.

This is a coding confessional update. A few months ago I posted about how they moved a lady from marketing to be in charge of our team. Well as expected it failed. She got in trouble because she said we had successfully gone live at our first location. In reality, two weeks before we had a dry run integration test that failed (actually never got off the ground due to huge pieces of info not being communicated). Anyway someone must've had a long talk with senior management because Friday they announced she was moving to a different part of the company (actually in a different state, 800 miles away).

if Jira told me to kick myself in the nuts, I'd find a way to get it done.

I think only the best programmers should be allowed to have kids. If you do front-end or really enjoy C++, it's a big nope. Too many people in the world already. Gotta prioritize those genes.

Scrum Truth = { Management: "Hey developer is that a 3 or a 5?", Developer: "Definitely a 5, maybe even an 8.", Architect: "I would call it a 5.", Developer: ... Management: "Okay lets call it a five then, so we can pretend we're being fair, and we don't have to feel bad when you put in over- time, for no additional pay." Developer: "Okay. Thank you. I'm just happy to have a job sir." }

Is there a place for us developers to rank and review "technical recruiters" or should I make one? Don't get me wrong, there some good recruiters but half are dim-witted fucks who don't understand the difference between java and javascript. No wonder there is such a "skill" gap, these fuckers don't know the goddamn difference between markup languages like html/xml and actual logic driven programming languages....

What is the best way to beat a drug test these days (marijuana only)?

is this career field worth it I'm thinking about making a change, from financial advisor. I have some background in CSS and html5 but that's it thanks guys. Be honest and upfront no bullshit please.

WORK! FUCKING WORK! WORK TILL YOU FUCKING DIE! BREAK YOUR FUCKING BACK WORKING!!!! WORK! WORK!!! WORK YOU FUCKING CUNT! have a dollar. FUCKING WORK!! WORK AND FUCKING BE THANKFUL FOR IT!! FUCKING BUST YOUR ASS WORKING! have a dollar.

my cup runneth over like blood from a stone.

Dear Flyover States: Angry Cheeto is your fault. Our task is to make you think you like the retaliation.

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2017/12/flashback-obama-says-manufacturing-jobs-arent-coming-back-trump-sets-record-highest-number-new-manufacturing-jobs-month-ever/ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH Don't worry Barry, You'll be able to drown your sorrows with your "wife's" dong tonight.