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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

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Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

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I wish I had a time machine so I could tell young me how fucking lame a career programming really is.

I had always blaming developers for bad design (or no design at all). Now I understand it's always managers that force dev team to produce garbage code. On purpose?

I taught a guy a piece of semi-obscure *nix trivia six months back, and now that same guy is using that knowledge in an almost name dropping fashion towards others, never bothering to explain it, and acting like people who don't know it are stupid. Why does this industry have to be so full of antisocial egomaniac fuckheads? Makes me want to leave forever.

I don't want to socialise with you at lunch or after work, go away!

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I work as a developer/team lead. For a salary with little projects here and there to work on the side. My wife wanted a new soccer mom car. I got offered from different places 3 contracts. As I need the money I took them, the people im doing this contracts know i wok during the day... and that I will work on the side to complete their projects. Now im very scared of the huge amount of work that lays in front of me. Cant take the projects back. Cant give the money back. Now jumping into deep waters. Hope I learn how to swim :/

We have no actual support team for any of our apps. We take turns being on call for support. I love getting spammed about apps we don't even support. Five years and we can't even fucking get the team that should be supporting the app correct. Fuck me.

We recently had our laptops replaced. We went from quad-core to dual-core. I raised my concerns about that before they were purchased. FUCK is this laptop a slow pos

I don't work from home 10/10 times I send a WFH email.

At the bottom of the unit for the main form of all my projects, I add a little something to remind me that people will always stab a developer in the back. //Don't trust anyone. Everyone has a price or fears something;

I feel sorry for people who choose to program in windows

Every morning in our daily Scrum meeting, I stand patiently for 30 - 45 minutes while the BA's and other technicians recall support issues they worked on the day before. I don't know why our department is attempting Agile. They should rename it to Futile.

Terms and Condi.. I AGREE.

662c506808834dcc7432fbf147af0a3b_large I don't know why condingconfessional's logo looks like persian architecture.

Boss just a asked a bunch of other employees to work extra to meet a deadline. Asks me to work extra to "show spirit" Started looking for jobs as soon as I got back to my desk.

To the folks that think TDD slows down the development. You might heard of someone whose job is to use the final product and report bugs before reaching the actual user. Most of those bugs are business related. So even if you don't test your app, you should consider write test cases for your business layer with well defined workflows so you don't need to dig your app for bugs that can be easily overlooked. That's where TDD pays off.

I think the fact that I like language design is that I'm mostly a UI guy.

I'm leaving on a road trip soon and the other guys called me to see when to get together so we could leave and I said I'll get back to them in half an hour since I'm stumped at work. In reality, I was browsing this site.

I constantly wonder if all my coworkers were born premature and have weak immune systems or something. None of them smoke, but most are constantly clearing their throats. I smoke and don't clear my throat. What the fuck is wrong with all of you.

At a Scottish developer meeting, most of the attendees looked like potential sex offenders. I left early.

Tests slow down development.

I'm less experienced than my colleague but when it comes to coding, design, debugging, etc I'm way better than him. I can tell because it's obvious. he's not certainly a geek and just a casual coder that doesn't give a shit about the code he writes. Now guess what, he's paid twice as mine.

I'm a Java/Scala/Python dev who dabbles in ops and data. For some reason, my current assignment at work is writing an single-page Angular UI for a CRUD app. God help the actual users.

designers talk about UX like it's Unix. Chill, bro.

The small talk at my job is a dick measuring contest where people try to prove how educated they are by dropping random (often bullshit-sounding) facts about whatever the topic is. No one seems to be interested in just talking about shit in a relaxed manner for fun. I dream of an invading clown army tying everyone up and slapping them and calling them silly boys.

If there is only one other person in the Google Hangout, I refresh until more people join before joining. This way I avoid awkward small talk.