Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I think autocompletion/autoimport makes you lazy and stupid. At least you should know what you want and where you want it from. And last but not least it screws up the style of the imports...

<script> var id = '<?php echo $id ?>' </script>

I have to code using Marketo

I detest my lead so much I can't stand to be in the same room with them.

A couple of years ago, I had to process SOAP requests in a COBOL application. I got fed up with arguing about not being allowed to use another language (one that could parse XML), so I wrote a crude XML parser in COBOL. I felt dirty doing it. Sorry world, for not pushing the PM more and use a decent parser instead.

I've been using windows on home computer all the time (excluding a short episode...) but I will sooner run out of Linux distros to trye than install any windows above 7.

When I was much younger, I wanted to be the best developer in the world working on cutting edge apps. Nowadays I'm quite happy to make decent money working for local government. Who wants to stress?

I find xkcd-style humor to be more "teehee that's so clever" than funny. Nothing wrong with that, but I get really bored around people who use that style of humor all the time. Especially when they do it poorly and/or to try to impress you.

I'm jealous of Swift syntax.

I work with people whose go-to database solution is Mongo. We probably have, no joke, 40 Mongo clusters, and getting the right data out of one usually means querying collections in at least two others. Last week, someone implemented "document locking". It's amazing how far you go to recreate SQL when you don't know how to use it.

Vim I try to convert everyone I work with to VIM even though we work in Java and I know I'd be faster using something with a debugger. I fear I've become a religious fanatic.

I'm thinking of quitting just because I can't stand hearing my coworker's smug voice all day long. That personality type grates on my nerves.

Coworker 1 complains that Coworker 2 writes confusing code that "doesn't look like Rails code". Coworker 2 writes excellent code with many advanced concepts and I try to learn from him all the time. Coworker 1 has a poor understanding of both Ruby and object oriented programming, and is not intelligent enough to realize that he is the one who writes shitty code.

I wish I worked with lazy laid-back people instead of high achievers. Then I could slack off and work on hobby projects without looking bad. Life is too short to invest a substantial chunk of it in a company whose future you couldn't give a shit about.

I wish people would stop working overhours, so that all of us non-workaholics aren't forced to do the same.

I'm jealous of Jon Skeet.

I'm 27 years old virgin/programmer, Who has no plan of finding a mate. Since I always have an important project to work on.

The documentation of our resource tool says: "To search for available resources, click in the search field and enter: Resource Description [return]". - Our most common searchtag is "[return]"

I'm doing my best to break into healthcare and more than willing to take a paycut, but I choke up at onsite interviews despite being division 1 in TopCoder.

I am thinking about quitting at least every other week.

I'm guilty of following my superior's bad programming habits because there is no incentive to do so. I can't fight against a lead who doesn't give a shit about maintainability and actively discourages it because features implemented as fast as possible are more important.

Ever since my wife left me, I've been completely fixated on programming and my work. Lately, I especially spend nights studying Markov and everything I can learn about AI. I think a part of me wants some way to fill the loneliness... a way that won't abandon me... something that won't judge me for who or what I am.

I think IRC is superior to IRL for most communication. I'm terribly shy and seldom speak up IRL. Many confident developers (the type who squint and speak in a smarmy voice) over the years have enjoyed patronizing me and making me feel like shit -- seeing me down and staring at the floor made them put on their biggest shit-eating grin. More down-to-earth developers are usually friendly to me, but even then it's like people don't take me seriously. IRC is an entirely different story, where I'm well-respected and know lots of great friendly people. With the bullshit dick-measuring-contest body language out of the way, it's much easier to focus on what people are saying, what they know, and what their personality really is like.

After a loooong time spent only on C and Bash, yesterday I wrote some Ruby. I realized how happy life can be!

New project has intelij as 'default' IDE steps to install: 1. download and instal 2. change keymap to eclipse-like 3. spend rest of day amazed that they dare to charge for it...

just did my first real java test for a big banking company - the senior dev destroyed my code. Walked out close to tears :<

just did my first real java test for a big banking company - the senior dev destroyed my code. Walked out close to tears :<

just did my first real java test for a big banking company - the senior dev destroyed my code. Walked out close to tears :<

Testing confession post

Sometimes I just think we are all a bunch of weirdos

Is the world or is it just me? Technician: Do you have alternative browser? Person F: What is that? Technician: You know like Chrome. Person F: Huh? Technician: Wha Person F: Should I have that?

I just not my professional self with friends. Person B: How long should it take? Person A: A Few Minutes Person B: How long should take on a slow connection? Person A: Start praying to your god. Person B: I am going to hang up with you now.. Person A: I am going to get something to eat.

The software I build is only ever as useful and complete as the requirements documents specced it out to be.

Today, I quit this snake-oil industry. I'm going to be a fisherman, or farmer, or whatever-the-fuck.

I hate doing configurations

Average time taken trying to solve a problem myself: 5 hours Average time taken to prepare a carefully worded question to StackOverflow: 1 hour Average time taken after hitting submit to realise the solution myself: 10 seconds

} catch (\Exception $e) { // lol }

Install WinServer 2012 R2 on Athlon 64 x2 4600+ and 2GB RAM Во я мудак

After a few years out of a language, I realise I have almost completely forgotten it. Picking it back up fast to work on a pet project.

Core 2 Duo and 2x2G RAM. That's a lot of 2's.

What the fuck is this code convention called?

I still dream of the day I'm going to get a job where I can deliver quality code, with no f**ked up deadlines and stupid people making awful decisions for me.

Been coding Ada for awhile now, it's the systems language that Rust isn't

I'm reading coding confessional while waiting for my project to build.

I'm self-taught, and have spent probably 10-30 hours a week for probably 6 years learning comp sci and system administration, and have worked some shitty jobs to get resume experience. I still don't have the confidence to question my coworkers when they make shitty decisions.

I think that exceptions are the worst feature in C++, because it just causes memory leaks. All the code I write uses an int or enum to return an error code.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not competent enough for my position, even though I'm the youngest in the department and I've seemingly worked my way up faster than anyone in the company's history...

When I take too long to accomplish a task I feel like such a failure.