Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Someone from my team fixed a bug two days ago and introduced a new one. I fixed it yesterday, but, what a surprise!, I introduced a new one which he fixed today.

I always want to reinvent the wheel! I know you are supposed to reuse what's already available, but I find it extremely satisfactory to understand how things work and be able to work it out myself. I learned a lot by doing this over the years. In fact, it's probably the one thing that taught me the most.

Angular 2 is complete bullshit. Solves none of the problems yet brings a lot more complexity than it's needed. Also the documentation is lacking and you again have to do everything the angular way...dissapointment

I like my development team, but I absolutely hate the IT/Ops crew at my current job. It takes them two days to bring a server online after a java update. They tell us that a project plan with multiple sign-offs and budget approval is "unsupported" even when it comes from a VP. They got an SLA with a cloud service... then "ran out" of cloud resources when we requested a puny 1 x 4 node. I wish I was making this stuff up. We're actually ordering our own hardware.

2 weeks ago. we are scheduled for a production deployment. Our client was not responding to any of my emails for our new release so we had to hold. A week later. I was assigned to a new project that has a high-priority rate and the previous client who's not responding to my emails became an in-demand assholes who are rushing the deployment one week later when I fucking informed and sent them emails for a release the previous week. I fucking ignored to emails and prioritized the new project. Fucking fucktards.

Every time I'm asked why I'm seeking new employment when I'm already employed I think really hard as to why they ask so that I can lie about the reasons I'm leaving in a way that will make me a more attractive applicant. I hate lying, but isn't that what they're really asking for? I mean, we all know the real answer to that question 100% of the time is "asshole boss".

I cannot muster a single fuck about this job. The people are okay but the whole organisation is like a headless chicken.

i've been on codingconfessional all morning and i am becoming depressed reading all this downer debbie talk. i hope my new career doesn't end up in shitter because right now im chilling. havent done shit for two weeks, the project took me 5 days to build and i just release part of the code weekly. management folk are old school and not familiar with dev speed of node/express. in fact, management is impressed with functionality and the speed of work. lol. javascript is awesome esp coupled with nginx. javascript omg. i hated you once but now you are my bitch.

I failed an easy coding question in a job interview but managed to fully reverse engineer and document the algorithms in a 30 year old video game written in 6809 assembly, with no assistance.

Rpgaliveinaction I've worked for 9 years with RPG/ILE. For the reference:

I think working extremely hard will make me happy. It hasn't so far...

I hate comments. 9 times out of 10, if I have to work on a new piece of code, the comments are just this distracting babble making me scroll and the first thing I do is delete them all.

I'm being forced to lower the quality and quantity of my work output by Scrum and an open office floor plan, and I don't like it.

Sometimes, I listen to free jazz while I code.

I wish Cold Fusion was an in demand programming language.

My boss tells me it's not my job to schedule meetings to gather requirements, and then gets pissed at me when I don't schedule meetings to gather requirements.

JavaScript still sucks

5334196831 I work at an IT company. This is what we regularly have to deal with.

I've been on this task for weeks and every time I think I'm nearing the end I find critical problems and want to jump off a bridge.

I don't feel like coding at this job any more since a policy was instituted that we have to write a document with an entry for every class changed, and make a testing document and get our changes tested by another person. This is for every change we want to make, no matter how minor. I have a near-perfect record after years here in terms of introducing bugs. We barely have time to keep up with incoming work, let alone upgrade/rewrite the ticking time bomb that is our dozens of Access 97 programs.

Its not a good idea to shout at me, boss. You need us developers more than we need you.

Who else feels patriotic about *=

If you're still young, you cannot understand Agile. Agile means surrendering your ambition to the tragedy of reality, to the sudden insight that nothing will ever change. Agile is not for young folks. Agile is for seasoned developers, and for freelancing consultants. Agile teams are a self-help support group for the disillusioned.

The only profiling tool I use is my laptop fan.

For years I have been using search/replace using normal searches, and if that didn't work, I did it all manually. All because I was too "lazy" too learn regular expressions. I thought it was fine since I was fast on the keyboard and knew the shortcuts. Today I took the step to learn regular expressions. I have seen the light.

devrant aped your idea, sue

At every job I've worked at at least some people have known what NIH, cargo cult programming, etc., means, yet it's like they have been in some anti cognitive dissonance trance where they're convinced that *they* can't be doing it, or that, if it's blatantly obvious that they're doing it, it doesn't matter in *their* particular case. Newsflash: You're fucking doing it, and it's sucking just as much as it usually does. Stop reinventing the wheel with crappy in-house applications, and force the guys who wrote the piece of shit code you're blindly copying around to clean up their mess.

If I can't use a Mac, it's a dealbreaker for me, not because I hate Microsoft (I really like C#, VS and SQL Server!) but because dealing with Enterprise IT corporate shitware policies and the asshat admins who flock to enterprise Windows IT makes me want to kill someone.

I fight holy developer wars like I fight religious holy wars (based on what tool/religion I knew first)!

I've never bothered to learn Apache beyond setting up virtual hosts. I just CTRL-V'd an .htaccess file and I don't give a fuck.

I’ve been a dev almost ten years but it’s not my passion. i'm miserable because of it. this is a job where it must be your passion to be any good. so i’ve decided to quit and follow what i’m really interested in which is photography. i know there are no jobs and it will be a struggle but i have to at least try.

I was asked to debug something wrong with google conversion tracking for a mail link. I can't believe some PAID web developer coded this: <a onclick="“goog_conv_custom" ('93444145',="" 'i-yugasawwyq_ohivqm',="" 'mailto:events@[CENSORED-DOMAIN]’)"="" href="mailto:events@[CENSORED-DOMAIN]">events@[CENSORED-DOMAIN].</a> That's it i'm going to quit and become a bricklayer.

Yesterday I faked that I was sick to be able to work from home and complete a lot of stuff that I needed for a deadline. I'm the CTO of my company, btw....

I wonder how much my preferences regarding programming are actually preferences instead of just Stockholm Syndrome.

Whoever came up with Eventsourcing and CQRS should be shot

I fuckin' hate development tools associated with Windows

sometimes I read questions on StackOverflow that are so basic that I lose my interest in answer them

I fuckin' love ReSharper

I frickin' love CodeMaid

I frickin' love StyleCop

One of our biggest clients has me working on a frontend facelift for a decades-old internal web app that's a total mess. They have a dozen-strong team wrenching on the backend, and while they are all nice people, not one has any real programming literacy. I single-handedly outpace their entire team, and it's a struggle not to make them look incompetent, which I have to do to win more business from this client. I spend most of my time teaching them basic Javascript and finding crafty client-side solutions to server-side problems that they say can't be fixed. And the client refuses to give me any backend or database access because I am technically a contractor. I hate this project and I hate all of them even though they are all friendly people who've done nothing but make me look good.

I don't understand the hatred toward Agile. I see it as an extension of the "commit early, commit often" mindset. As long as you treat Agile ideas as the tools they are, it's a great way to make sure you don't waste time doing something you're just going to have to redo later because of a miscommunication.

I think whoever thought that a horizantal scrolling interface for the Azure Portal is a good idea should be fired immediately for incompetence. That shit UI must be costing MS absolute millions in lost revenue. I know I'll be transitions away as soon as possible.

Our Team-Leader frequently reviews old issues. Today 10 people spend 1 hours talking about a 4 year old issue estimated with 3 hours - just to decide to leave it open "for now"...

We are an IT-Company. Our Marketing orderd USB-Dongles with our logo as giveaways ... Size 64MB.

I quit my last job because they asked me to do stupid things (insane technical debt) and it didn't add value for me. 3 months later I'm starting to doubt my decision and have less courage. I haven't received paycheck in quite a while. I'm afraid maybe soon I'll need to seek intentionally stupid jobs to make a living

The big fancy international company I work for claims to be equal opportunity + advertises that a lot. My salary is 5 times lower than most of my colleagues (several of whom have lower skills and performance) because of my country of residence and my gender (+maybe my disability). I have 0 motivation to work for them. I look for other jobs + I work on hobby projects or apps I plan to make commercial in a distant future. Or I procrastinate here, writing confessions.

I have a coding job but don't actually know how to code