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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
Image Pair programming was invented by a lonely shitty coder so management would force someone to sit next to him. also, if the code is shit.. well it takes two to pair program.

Just Java Things: Value value = fc.getValue(user.getSession().getValue()).getValue().getValue();

mfckn arrays passing values by reference mixed w async recursion is a cocksuckfuck. scoping flipping closures flopping cockblock scopes. figured it out after a few hours. now to show off my code and get all the women in the world. yeaaaa boiiii recursion

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trying to understand why all tests pass. fml.

I absolutely loathe Sencha Architect. It is without a doubt the worst development environment that dares to call itself as one. It has minimal benefits for maximal pain.

Today I asked the new guy where he was from, he said "New Hampshire" and I said "Fuck that place" and walked off.

wow. did some perf tests and python is actually slower than node.js? lmfao lollerblading to my roflcopter. surprised and vindicated.

angular seriously needs to die. bloatware authoritarian buggy fuck runarounds just to do simple shit like track touch points on a tablet.

i refuse to use brackets to imprison my freespirited code. if(x==1) for(var i=0;i<dick.length;i++) if(puss) grow(dick[i]);

i miss my 486, windows 3.1, pkunzip, earthlink dialup, and html frames

MicroServices, .NET, Kendo (Three Pillars of Civilization)

the xcode ios ui editor is revulting, just like swift

I never divide class header into .h and .cpp

FUCK! THIS !!!!!!! frigging angular U GET A SHITTY ARRAY FROM ME ["LABEL1,"LABEL2,"LABEL3"]. NO GIVE ME THAT SHITTY SELECT NG-OPTION THING AND FUCKING JUST SAVE THE $INDEX TO THE DATABASE!!! FUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm trying​ read The Art of computer programming, third edition, seminumerical algorithms...I'm suffering T..T

I would honestly like to kill the two people who wrote this app. Maybe bash their heads in with rocks or something.

I spent way to much time figuring out the yaml format.

My CEO of my small tech company is a maniac and will do anything to squeeze productivity out of his employees. If he finds you chatting or talking he will yell at you (which is why we have a chat room with 80 people in it and no new messages for days). We gained 6000 new customers last year and he told us that's not good enough. Guys are working 12 hours at a time and he tells them we need more. He is universally despised throughout the company but people pretend to like this tech bro because of a paycheck.

pushes project through without seeing if expectations are even possible. finds out they aren't. "one of the biggest reasons for the project". hey fuck face, way to mother fucking plan ahead you fucking cunt

when it's hard to do, you're doing it wrong.

I don't like my job as a UX designer. I guess because there's no project and somebody has to be a UX designer. T....T

So Im working in a startup, getting an OK salary for the market... got an offer now after interview with large corporate gov to work with them. The contract salary will be much better than what im at now, Im feeling a lot of Stokholm syndrome, as the project might fuck up if I leave. I had an awesome opportunity i didn't take before with another cool company to save the thing here, I even left them know here and after some thanks for staying. No salary increase after staying!, I got the treatment of the boy that cried wolf. Now deciding how to execute the leave, but also scared as the other place will force me to learn a lot of new things... so is either, stay and stagnate [may be get to build the next big thing]. OR... move, learn, earn...

40 hour "training project" for 5 bucks an hour to hire me. Yeah, sure buddy, should I throw in a blowjob as well, I mean 5 bucks an hour, whoa. What a fucking waste of time those interviews were, I should fucking bill you for those.