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Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

Confess
I feel insecure because interest in mobile development is going down. And I don't know anything other than mobile app development

Google smartness is annoying, I need to outsmart them to feel better...

If it ain't broke, I'll fix it anyway.

Regulation is needed. No regulatory body in web development = people prime for exploitation and idiots everywhere abusing the system driving down wages and destroying faith and peoples expectations of this job. Regulation solves this.

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How long have I been depressed? Twenty years give or take, long before getting interested in programming, when do I make peace with the fact that this might be one of those fucking die alone with no friends or girlfriend situations.

I start from scratch over and over again for up to days until my code looks pretty.

I have less problems reading and fixing broken spaghetti code than overarchitected enterprise wordsoups.

Had some Korean BBQ off the food truck. 15 minutes later, horrible explosive diarrhea. Almost filled the bowl to the rim. Not sure if I'll make it to 5 o'clock today.

I deployed something today - Friday. Easily reverted but the boss wanted it out today, so.....

There are no actual programmers that use this site. Just twats and people who would LIKE to be in the industry but are either mentally dysfunctional or shamefully inadequate.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/iLyEriwr2U4/hqdefault.jpg This is what a real programmer looks like, as opposed to web hipsters. You will never be this raw and masculine as long as you stay in the web sphere.

Sure! I can animate it with pure css. Sure! f*ck all iphone users who got only 320 px wide screen. I can make it responsive without a proper design. Ohh! The zoom animation is not working on Netscape? Sorry! Here is my resignation letter, becouse I couldn't done it in 3 hours... Feeling useless. Why every designer (in my office) think, that their (nightmarish) animation is easy to make with pure css?

I think programmers are sexy musky computer men.

Web development is a sugar coated turd! Just pile on some more librariesfor good measure, and add a good spray of the latest and greatest faddy framework, and there you go!

my boss hired me as a project manager, it's been a month but he hasn't assigned me a single task, all i do is drink coffee and plan for startup

I don't remember why I put a particular line in my program, but I leave it there because I'm paranoid.

My faith in my touch-typing is often shaken when I work in complete darkness with the backlight off. I mean, I can type plaintext just fine, but every once in a while I have to keyboard-navigate, press a shortcut combo, or numbers numbers, and for a moment I'm typing out encrypted passwords...

I've done jackshit this week. I don't foresee that changing for a few days either. Although it's not entirely my fault I am preparing to be fired.

one time at high school I implemented the rat/labyrinth problem using Java with ifs for each one of the 100 possibilities

Computers and coding are fun, but unhealthy. My back-neck gaah.

fantasy football hurr durrr

Why don't they just fucking pay us more to do more work instead of pushing shit back till next year. Would gladly put in another 10 hours a week or more for compensation that isn't trash.

I do not completely understand what's broken in my application, still I manage to fix it.

I just want to leave this job when I see "experienced" programmers do this: if (someBoolean == true) return true; else return false;