Coding Confessional

Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.


Anonymous Confessions from Programmers.

I am all about Laravel and modern PHP

i love to not solve issues along with other humans

I can't take being this bored everyday for much longer. People are expected to do this for 20, 30, or 40 years without blowing their brains out? How?

How many chads do we have on here?

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Your job isn't supposed to be fun, or uplifting or motivational, or fulfill some sort of desire to make the world a better place, or give you a sense of purpose or wellbeing, or anything of these stupid things. Your job is part of a system designed to ensure that you fucking wear your body and mind down, whilst earning just barely enough to sustain yourself. It is a measure of control by which we are herded and manipulated. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.

I don't sympathize with wack hoes and wimpy guys.

A recent comment here: “waterfall is way better than agile, but it requires competent managers that actually work” Oh please. Lets roll back software development 30 years and keep repeating the same thing over again hoping it will be better (Einstein's definition of insanity). Software development is replete with variability and uncertainty around both requirements and implementation. With waterfall your managers more-or-less say "I need this at this date" and they are done. Waterfall is perfect if you have a perfect understanding of both and nothing changes from day zero to the delivery, which covers about 0.001% of software projects.

Feeling like you have to fight for a job you hate has to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

I once hit on my cousin.

Sometimes I commit code with bugs because I hate my co-workers and want to make their lives suck as much as my own does.

Why designers think, that if they found something fancy on codepen, we should implement it. "Just copy/paste it, and write something in it! Why is it that hard for you?"

I don't know how to command line...

Google puts the weirdest shit on their home page. It makes no sense.

Java is immortal!

This place could fire half the people here and it wouldn't make a difference.

I (not so secretly) believe that Haskell engineers are superior in intellect and ability. Example: node.js creator went with javascript because he couldn't understand Haskell.

I’ve always wanted to kiss and have sex with a girl

Am using my free time for my own Chinese education style coding training, I get projects I made freelancing, quite across the board, perfect them then write them over and over again with different themes til I can rebuild an entire 2 months project within 8 hours without referencing online or docs. I hated constant tests in high school but those fuckers were unto something. I've improved greatly as a coder, am not a fake no more.

We have no requirements, specs, or visuals despite having a fully staffed product team. So in response I just make shit up as I go along when I develop new features or fix old ones. I then have to fix them again later when product changes their mind. I should be pissed about this but who cares when your paycheck is the same either way.

I hate working 9-5. Leave home, go to the office, and pretend that you are working. BS. Home = more productivity.

Web dev work is paid like total shit in the UK.

I made another JS framework

I'm starting over. What should my new stack be? (I'm learning from the ground up) 💻

I think it's just easier to ban traffic from on china, Eastern Europe and the trouble making countries in Africa.